A Due Date That Wasn't: Little Green Pills, Good Friends, and Grace from God

So is it still considered EWCM if it's bright green? That is my million dollar question for the day! Perhaps if the manufacturers could do us all a favor and make estradiol pills a different color than bright teal? Believe me, I'm not complaining too loudly. I will take pills over shots any day, and I'm getting quite used to sticking random prescriptions in my vag. If it helps my lining for this cycle, I'm all for it. It just amazes me that something this teeny tiny....

can create such an influx of fertile fluid. My estrogen must be surging like a mofo right now, which is exactly what we want. If only this phenomenon could occur in my body without taking drugs, we just might have a kid by now! Speaking of which, I was supposed to be delivering a baby today.  Instead, I did yard work and stepped in a huge pile of fire ants. Whatever. The sun is shining, and I'm trying not to let today's "due date that wasn't" bother me.

I am thankful today's date hasn't been as hard emotionally as it was the for the first one that passed in July 2012. Sure, it was the first thing I thought of when I got out of bed today, but I just took a deep breathe and told myself that I had a choice; To be pitiful and depressed or to take a look around and appreciate all the good things. I chose to give thanks for all that we have and focus on anything other than what would have been. I am reeeeally trying my best to live in the NOW; Forget the past. Do not worry about the future. Just be grateful and soak in the now.

I started my day off reading a few scriptures that a very dear blog friend passed along. Some of you may know Caroline @ Team Harries Beats Infertility. If you haven't already, make sure to stop by her blog and check it out! It just so happens that she has family in Austin, and we were able to do a quick meet up yesterday.

I can't tell you how REFRESHING it is to connect with other women going through similar struggles who are so caring, selfless, and grounded. This girl is not only drop dead gorgeous, but she is one of the most POSITIVE people on the planet. Her outlook on infertility and life in general is truly inspiring, and I feel like God placed her in my life for a reason. Caroline, you are SUCH A GEM! I would not wish this infertility journey on my worst enemy, but I've got to say I have met some amazing women throughout this process. You all continually inspire me with your strength to keep going.

And like other women I've talked to, I believe this process is also strengthening my spirituality. There have been times in my life where I would consider myself more devout and times where I have seriously questioned my faith. Being a faithful follower is not a perfect process, especially when times are tough, but my relationship with God is one that I believe is real and which I will always come back and look to, both in times of trial and in times of celebration.

I was raised in the Episcopal church, and hubby was raised in Catholic and Methodist churches (I think). We both miss Sunday services and have decided it's high time to find a "real church" (other than t.v. sermons) to attend in person regularly. After all, we definitely want to raise our kids in church, so makes sense to be proactive now. We are basically church hopping until we find one that fits. 2 down, but no cigar quite yet. It will take some time, but I am confident the right one for us is out there.

Outside of that, hubby is still at University of Florida working on his MBA... 7 more days until he returns. I am basically just holding down the fort and being a good little girl here; Eating super clean, treating the ole bod like gold, and trying to remember to take these hulkalicious pills on time amidst the bazillion other supplements I'm on. Tomorrow begins estradiol 3x's daily. 10 days and counting until the lining check!