Last Day of the Never-Ending Hormones: Onto Femara During our "Break"

I can do anything for one month, but I am so extremely ready to move forward from this ass dragging cycle of pregnancy loss, surgery, never ending spotting, and estrogen therapy. How can time (as in years TTC) fly by so fast, yet at the same time seem to craaaaawl by (as in each day of this cycle) at a snail's pace?

Today is the LAST of 25 days on estrogen therapy following the hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. I was taking 2mg Estradiol 2 x's/day. My understanding is that taking estradiol post-surgery helps to rebuild the uterine lining and reduce any risk of scarring where things were removed. We definitely don't want that! I've also been taking 10 mg Provera 2 x's/day for the past 5 days to induce a new cycle since the ole ovaries have basically been sleeping this whole month. I have been a sleepwalking zombie on the Provera and would be perfectly fine crashing at 5 pm every evening. Sleeeeeepy dwarf right here. Yawn:0

In case you are interested in seeing what this eventful cycle has looked like...

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Blood test on CD2 showed hCG back down to zero. Then, we were going to do a Femara cycle before moving onto our final FET. HOWEVER, my insatiable quest to dig deeper for "reasons IVF hasn't worked" resulted in the big surprise that somehow my insurance was magically going to cover the diagnostic surgery we'd been wanting for over a year. So, we scrapped the whole Femara idea, and went straight into surgery literally the next day. Oh, and want to see something really cool? Our insurance really and truly covered my surgery!

I was checking my online claims like a crack feind twice a day, sweating bullets until I saw every bright red "pending" turn to it's beautiful bright green counterpart "processed" on each charge. The $28K+ one took FOREVER to go through too, but it finally did. We are beyond grateful that everything went through. We have zero fertility coverage, and this is by far the most help we've had with ANYTHING during the past 27 months of treatment. Looks like our total cost will be $125 (rather than the $20 I was quoted). However, we will take it!!! I am 100% happy we did it, even if it meant a little pain & more waiting to proceed as planned.

Speaking of proceeding, today was my last day of Provera, so I should begin a new "withdrawl cycle" within the next couple days. We are advised to wait until our next "real cycle" before doing our last chance FET, but we've been given the green light to try by any other means. I have felt fully recovered for a couple weeks now, and we are both excited to start trying again.

So, I open our shared online calendar and realize that during the time I will most likely ovulate naturally, my husband will be 5,000 miles and a 10 hour flight away in Amsterdam. He's gone ever so conveniently during my CD17-CD23... Every. Single. Day. of Possible Procreation. If I am going to ovulate on my own, it usually happens CD21-CD23. This is almost comical. I bang my head on the wall and ask, "Why God must I ovulate so damn late? Why can't I just be normal???"

I believe in miracles mind you, but I don't expect to conceive via immaculate conception or Skype for that matter. And maybe it wouldn't be quite as large of a miracle, but I also don't expect to ovulate anytime before CD20 unmedicated. Lightbulb moment: Good news is that I usually ovulate on CD16 or CD17 when taking Femara. Yes! There is always a back-up plan!

I emailed my nurse and got approval to move forward with a Femara cycle. I am actually a big fan of Femara. Main reasons being zero side effects, linings @ 9mm+ typically, and a much sooner ovulation with up to two mature follicles. Another reason? Well, it got us pregnant the last time I took it...even if it ended up being a god forsaken ectopic pregnancy. That wasn't Femara's fault though. Here was our last Femara cycle, which resulted in pregnancy...

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I can't believe that was a whole year ago. Geesh. Time flies when you're having fun and have entered Advanced Maternal Age. Seriously, can someone please stop time while we try to have a baby?

This cycle, I will take Femara 5 mg on CD2-CD6 to encourage a more timely ovulation and scoot it up an additional day if possible...the goal is a CD16 ovulation. This way we'll get to try before hubby's off jet setting. Worse case scenario, we do also have 50 million (post-wash) sperm frozen if we absolutely miss the boat timing wise and still want to try an IUI using frozen sperm. Wouldn't that be some shit if I got pregnant while my husband was in Amsterdam? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now we'll just take it day by day and use whatever options we have available to us as this cycle unfolds.

Hopefully I will keep myself busy substitute teaching soon. Right after I blogged about how long it was taking to get hired, guess who got an invite to the sub orientation? I completed that today and should be officially hired as soon as my fingerprints are processed. My subbing definitely won't make us millionaires, but anything extra is extra.

I'll be praying for this cycle to unfold just as it is meant to in the coming days....and as always, for peace and patience in the process.
 

*P.S. Today is National Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day. Feel free to light a candle in solidarity at 7 pm. I'll be lighting one for all the families out there who have experienced loss. ((HUGS))