Just the Two of Us @ 20 Weeks

Lately, I've been stopping to smell the roses as "just the two of us." There have been so many days when I am so utterly tired of being just two. The worst reminder has always been dining out..."Table for two please. Sure, place us right in the middle of 10 tables of families while you're at it!"

You'd think by now I would have mastered the art of cooking for two, but for some reason I never did. I am so stinking sick of leftovers. I know, starving kids in China, but you know what I mean. Countless times I've thought about how I'd love to have a "real family" instead of a refrigerator full of glass containers.

Don't even get me started on the stick figure families which adorn pretty much every vehicle in the continental US. There is simply no avoiding this abhorrent stamp of self-proclaimed procreative ability. Ok, maybe I'm being a tad dramatic on that one, but I seriously detest those stickers for the reminder of just two they provide at each traffic light.

Up until recently, being just two was something I've taken for granted at times. Now, I fully realize that some people are hoping and praying just to meet Mr. Right in much the same way we have been longing for a child. Believe me, I've ALWAYS been extremely grateful to have such an amazing spouse to spend my life with. It's just that in those times of struggle to create a family, it was easy to lose sight. This dark ominous cloud of what we still wanted but didn't have, seemed to creep in randomly to overshadow all the other sunshine.

However, Friday was a pretty meaningful day for us as we reached 20 weeks. This means we're half-way through this pregnancy, which brings a huge sense of relief, perhaps even more so than passing the 12 week mark or receiving a perfect anatomy scan result. I finally let the cat out of the bag on facebook, with what I hope was a tactful and humble post with a 20 week bump shot. Up until now I hadn't really said anything publicly in that type of forum.

It was like I had a Halftime Hallelujah that day! I could not stop crying, not only because of the amazing comments and support, but also because there are just so many deep thoughts & emotions swirling in my brain:

-Happiness for making it this far.
-Confidence that everything is going to be OK from here on out.
-Realization that although the journey suuuuucked to get here, the timing is good now and we'll be better parents for having gone through it. 
-Gratefulness that our prayers were finally answered.
-Sheer terror at the thought of raising another human being! ha!

Times are a changin. Shit's about to get very real. We probably won't be wading our feet in the pool leisurely at the Delano in South Beach for quite a while...

Ah, those were the days!

If I'm being frank, just two is now being embraced again in a way that it hadn't been for a very long time. I'm relishing walking up to a hostess stand requesting a table for two or squeezing into a spot at the bar for a quick slice of impromptu cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory. In fact, this is how we spent our Sunday, visiting the place where we had our first date...

Match made in Heaven: White Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Nut &
Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake cheesecake. Oh YES we did!

How about the quiet solitude of moseying around Home Depot's nursery and finding a new plant to pot on a sunny day without interruption? The lovely croton made it's way onto our front driveway last week...

I'm enjoying the little things in life with a renewed spirit of just two. Not to say we'll never travel or go out for cheesecake on a whim or work in the yard of course. I'm just very aware that once this baby arrives things will never quite be the same. The sound level and volume of drool are about to increase exponentially in a few short months. I want to relish every last bit of freedom and time we have together NOW.


However, I'm also eager to open the door to a whole new set of life experiences with this little whipper snapper that will surely change our lives for the better. We had an OB apt. on Friday and were treated to an unexpected 3D ultrasound while we waited for the doc...

Still measuring ahead and weighs about 14 oz.
Heartbeat @ 160 bpm

Preston is such a mover and shaker that it's really hard to get any pics completely in focus, but you can see his basic facial structure here and the cute little set of cheekbones he's sporting. He was literally doing jiu jitsu moves with hands square at eye level. So funny!

I love that he's already so interesting and providing entertainment for everyone!  I'm feeling the kicks and jabs more and more each day and am even picking up on his habits at certain times of day and during certain activities. Again, another thing I'm enjoying now as they are still light kicks and not the super sharp into the ribcage type of kicks quite yet.

We've been doing a lot of organizing around here too. Like any good parent, I went through any old blackmail worthy photos and shredded them to pieces. Aint nobody got time for that! hehe We've cleaned out closets to make room for baby stuff and the nursery-to-be is completely empty now. We had a garage sale this past weekend and liquidated anything collecting dust and donated things to charity. It totally kicked our butts, but we won't have time to do this stuff once baby is here, so chipping away at it while we can.

And now, I feel the fun is "allowed to begin" perhaps in ways that I wasn't prepared emotionally to let it before. I ordered the crib, crib bedding, and a wall decal today...a ritual I didn't take lightly and was saving for the 20 week mark. In the next couple of weeks, we may actually have a semblance of a nursery. Still so much more left to do, but we're taking it one very slow day at a time....just the two of us.