Call it a case of the progesterone weepies. I normally look forward to the dentist, but that was NOT the case yesterday. I had an appointment to have an old silver filling removed and replaced with a resin filling. Yes, I am one of probably ten people left on earth that still has silver fillings in my mouth. My dentist is just as hell bent on replacing them as I am on prolonging the process of removing them. Unfortunately at this point, they are all starting to crack so I don't have much of a leg to stand on.
Right when I walked through the door, I was greeted with "Hi Emily. I have something here to talk to you about" from the receptionist. "Great," I thought with a sinking feeling of getting sent to the principle's office. She proceeds to print out an estimate of all the other work I need done outside of the current visit, which includes two crowns. If you've ever had a crown, you know it's a royal pain and it is not cheap either!
BCBS can seriously kiss my ass at this point. Believe me, I'm thankful for any insurance at all, but there is serious room for improvement with them. They are supposed to cover 50% of major dental work, yet on this $2700 worth of crown procedures they are only going to cover $1100. Why? Because they set "customary charges" for all procedures and my dentist happens to charge more than what they consider "customary." Not to mention, we have a $1500/year limit, so I will get to go through the pain twice to even get coverage for both procedures. Even though the two teeth are directly next to each other, I'll have to do one crown this year and one next year. Oh well, better than the 0% coverage I have for fertility treatments I guess. I schedule the first crown for November and sit back in the waiting room. Grrrr
Needless to say, this greeting did not put me in a good mood, especially since I was trying to stay calm. I was about to have a giant needle jabbed into my gums and then have a dentist drilling old metal out of my mouth. I sat back in the waiting room and could feel my anxiety mounting. I was NOT happy with the fact that this lady got me all stressed out before an already stressful procedure. So much for the soft music on the ride there!
I'm called back and sit in the chair sporting a major pout, which is not how I normally act in there. My dentist knows me as a very positive person and immediately asks "What's wrong?" I can barely even open my mouth before tears just start pouring from my eyes. I proceeded to offer a "friendly suggestion" that the lady at the front might want to wait on handing patients estimates for $2700 of dental work right before they are sent back for another already stressful $500 procedure. I told her it wasn't just about the money, but that the dentist can be stressful enough when you are having major work done and a little more Zen from the office staff would be appreciated. I could barely get the words out, because I was trying to hold back tears.
I couldn't figure out why I was reacting so strongly to something I could have easily just brushed off. Maybe I'm just fed up with medical professionals poking and prodding at me. I hate needles, and if it's not one in my arm, it's one in my mouth. Just make it stop already! I am even more tired of my crappy insurance company. I layed there feeling sorry for myself for a good couple of minutes and just cried. I just could not control my emotions or make it stop! "Grow the fuck up!" I told myself. What is wrong with me for God's sakes?
Then, I had an Aha! moment. I suddenly realized that I had been taking Prometrium for the past few days following ovulation. I am really starting to see a trend here. Last cycle, I also had a mini meltdown at 5 days past ovulation, and here I was again at 5 dpo having yet another ridiculous meltdown. It has got to be all the extra progesterone in my body. I always wondered why pregnant women get so weepy all the time. I understood it was "hormones" but didn't really get why crying happened uncontrollably like that. Well, now I do. The Prometrium I'm taking is bolstering my progesterone, the same hormone that surges with pregnancy. Until someone can pinpoint another reason I'd keep losing my mind at the drop of a dime during the 2WW, I'm going to hereby chalk it up to progesterone. Mystery solved.
I made it out of the dentist alive and continued pouting the whole drive home. My husband is away traveling on business, and for once I was thankful for that, so he didn't have to witness another crazy mood swing from me and I didn't have to explain why I was so down. I just wanted night time to come so I could fall asleep. I was tempted to stop off for a pint of Ben & Jerry's, but instead I made myself some comfort food. I've been eating lentils like crazy this week...
|Broiled salmon atop lentil goulash (lentils, brown rice, carrots, onion, tomatoes, garlic) with sauteed green beans|
This awesome meal got me feeling a little better, and I felt a good sappy movie would get me the rest of the way back to normal. I rented People Like Us with Elizabeth Banks. Wow, this movie turned out to be much better than I thought it would be. The ending was sooooo good! Made me cry my eyes out at the end, but in a good happy ending way. Here is the trailer...
Went to bed famished and woke up today wondering what the heck happened to me emotionally yesterday. Hopefully the progesterone weepies will stay at bay for the next week leading up to testing. Please someone tell me I'm not the only one this happens to! No wonder men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Geesh!