Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Last Day of the Never-Ending Hormones: Onto Femara During our "Break"

I can do anything for one month, but I am so extremely ready to move forward from this ass dragging cycle of pregnancy loss, surgery, never ending spotting, and estrogen therapy. How can time (as in years TTC) fly by so fast, yet at the same time seem to craaaaawl by (as in each day of this cycle) at a snail's pace?

Today is the LAST of 25 days on estrogen therapy following the hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. I was taking 2mg Estradiol 2 x's/day. My understanding is that taking estradiol post-surgery helps to rebuild the uterine lining and reduce any risk of scarring where things were removed. We definitely don't want that! I've also been taking 10 mg Provera 2 x's/day for the past 5 days to induce a new cycle since the ole ovaries have basically been sleeping this whole month. I have been a sleepwalking zombie on the Provera and would be perfectly fine crashing at 5 pm every evening. Sleeeeeepy dwarf right here. Yawn:0



In case you are interested in seeing what this eventful cycle has looked like...

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Blood test on CD2 showed hCG back down to zero. Then, we were going to do a Femara cycle before moving onto our final FET. HOWEVER, my insatiable quest to dig deeper for "reasons IVF hasn't worked" resulted in the big surprise that somehow my insurance was magically going to cover the diagnostic surgery we'd been wanting for over a year. So, we scrapped the whole Femara idea, and went straight into surgery literally the next day. Oh, and want to see something really cool? Our insurance really and truly covered my surgery!




I was checking my online claims like a crack feind twice a day, sweating bullets until I saw every bright red "pending" turn to it's beautiful bright green counterpart "processed" on each charge. The $28K+ one took FOREVER to go through too, but it finally did. We are beyond grateful that everything went through. We have zero fertility coverage, and this is by far the most help we've had with ANYTHING during the past 27 months of treatment. Looks like our total cost will be $125 (rather than the $20 I was quoted). However, we will take it!!! I am 100% happy we did it, even if it meant a little pain & more waiting to proceed as planned.

Speaking of proceeding, today was my last day of Provera, so I should begin a new "withdrawl cycle" within the next couple days. We are advised to wait until our next "real cycle" before doing our last chance FET, but we've been given the green light to try by any other means. I have felt fully recovered for a couple weeks now, and we are both excited to start trying again.

So, I open our shared online calendar and realize that during the time I will most likely ovulate naturally, my husband will be 5,000 miles and a 10 hour flight away in Amsterdam. He's gone ever so conveniently during my CD17-CD23... Every. Single. Day. of Possible Procreation. If I am going to ovulate on my own, it usually happens CD21-CD23. This is almost comical. I bang my head on the wall and ask, "Why God must I ovulate so damn late? Why can't I just be normal???"

I believe in miracles mind you, but I don't expect to conceive via immaculate conception or Skype for that matter. And maybe it wouldn't be quite as large of a miracle, but I also don't expect to ovulate anytime before CD20 unmedicated. Lightbulb moment: Good news is that I usually ovulate on CD16 or CD17 when taking Femara. Yes! There is always a back-up plan!

I emailed my nurse and got approval to move forward with a Femara cycle. I am actually a big fan of Femara. Main reasons being zero side effects, linings @ 9mm+ typically, and a much sooner ovulation with up to two mature follicles. Another reason? Well, it got us pregnant the last time I took it...even if it ended up being a god forsaken ectopic pregnancy. That wasn't Femara's fault though. Here was our last Femara cycle, which resulted in pregnancy...

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I can't believe that was a whole year ago. Geesh. Time flies when you're having fun and have entered Advanced Maternal Age. Seriously, can someone please stop time while we try to have a baby?

This cycle, I will take Femara 5 mg on CD2-CD6 to encourage a more timely ovulation and scoot it up an additional day if possible...the goal is a CD16 ovulation. This way we'll get to try before hubby's off jet setting. Worse case scenario, we do also have 50 million (post-wash) sperm frozen if we absolutely miss the boat timing wise and still want to try an IUI using frozen sperm. Wouldn't that be some shit if I got pregnant while my husband was in Amsterdam? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now we'll just take it day by day and use whatever options we have available to us as this cycle unfolds.

Hopefully I will keep myself busy substitute teaching soon. Right after I blogged about how long it was taking to get hired, guess who got an invite to the sub orientation? I completed that today and should be officially hired as soon as my fingerprints are processed. My subbing definitely won't make us millionaires, but anything extra is extra.

I'll be praying for this cycle to unfold just as it is meant to in the coming days....and as always, for peace and patience in the process.

 

*P.S. Today is National Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day. Feel free to light a candle in solidarity at 7 pm. I'll be lighting one for all the families out there who have experienced loss. ((HUGS))

17 comments:

  1. Thinking of you, not only today, but everyday! I couldn't agree more about time flying by, but standing still in the same sentance! So glad that you got the call for the subbing job!! Hoping and praying that this Femera cycle (yay no side effects!!) goes exactly as you need it to! Praying for your strength and peace xoxo

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  2. I'm praying right alongside you :) xoxo

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  3. I love Femara for the exact same reasons… why oh why couldn't Femara work? Hoping that this is a great cycle for you and that miracles happen wether hubby is in Amsterdam or not! : ) Praying with you!

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  4. Praying, praying, praying that this cycle is the one! With the surgery completed and with medicine that's not terrible on side effects maybe this is the perfect timing Emily :)

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  5. I love that you have two back up plans. One to make you ovulate sooner and two frozen sperm. Nice! Praying that this works for you and you can be done with this journey. Will be praying right next to you tonight.

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  6. I also check my online insurance account for my surgery obsessively. Unfortunately a few of my claims have still not gone through which is causing some concern. AND I can totally relate to time flying by and standing still....thats exactly where I am right now. I am praying for you (and me) that Femara can work miracles!

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear that your DH will be away during what would normally be O time for you, but HOORAY for the Femara plan! I really hope you ovulate before he leaves! Also, that's great news about the substitute teaching job! I am so glad that your surgery was covered (for real) and that you don't have that to worry about that anymore. I am keeping my fingers crossed and saying prayers for you as always!

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  8. Hooray for the substitute teaching coming together - love how the Lord answered that prayer. Keep us updated on everything. Hoping you O before he leaves. If it is any sense of encouragement, one of the girls in the MITM group has been trying for 2-3 years and due to the power of prayer, she is now pregnant. And, her husband was out of town while she was O. I release her testimony over to you!!! hehe. PLEASE Lord, bring us a baby! oh and two other things, So thankful insurance covered all that and oh my, what I would do for all those spermies!!!

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    1. I just have to LOL at Caroline's last statement but I co-sign at what a blessing it is for prayers to be answered. I am praying for you that in this break and with Femara that God would open you womb to receive and carry a child!! Keeping you lifted!!

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  9. So many good things going on!! First of all, that is awesome that your insurance has "officially" paid for your surgery. We pay enough for everything we're doing...it's nice when the insurance company can throw is a bone now and again.

    I miss Femara. I sometimes wish I could just go to the doctor and say, "how about one more shot!??!" Here's hoping all the traveling and coordinating schedules gets worked out (at least you have that backup!) and this shot for you, does the trick!!

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  10. So glad to hear the insurance came together and covered everything! Woohoo!!! The idea of a Femara cycle in between is exciting. Hpoing you ovulate while he's in town!!

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  11. Amazing news that the insurance came through and paid for things! yay! :) I hope all goes well with the Femara cycle - although I'm still not pregnant, I've much preferred those cycles to my Clomid cycles -- no side effects at all! Much easier.

    Fingers crossed all goes well! :)

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  12. I have thought so many times that I'd like to disappear or go to sleep and return/wake up pregnant. So glad that insurance covered everything. I'm worried I'm going to have to fight for a December laparoscopy (which I got inspired to research after reading about your experience--thanks to you).

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  13. I nominated you for the sunshine award, you can check it out on my blog :) You don't have to answer the questions, but still wanted you to know!

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  14. Love, love, love Femara! Will be sending prayers your way!!

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  15. That is so awesome that your insurance really did pay for just about everything, it really does make all the difference in the world! That's also great about the substitute teaching thing. I love all the great news! :) I really, really hope that the femara cycle works for you. I'm glad that you have several plans in place, I'm so hoping that this is it for you!

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  16. Yay for insurance covering your surgery. I don't get to write that too often. :) Good luck with the femora!

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