Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Getting all Doula'd Up

We decided early on to play things by ear throughout this pregnancy. I've heard enough stories about the "curse of the Bradley classes"....where couples take intense birthing classes for 8 weeks straight learning all the ins and outs of a natural delivery, only to find out mom will need a C section for some reason or another. You may not hear parents talk about it much, but it's apparently somewhat common. This abrupt "change in plans" can also lead to an increased risk of PPD in women who feel they were cheated out of something they prepared so thoroughly to do, only to have their dream delivery snatched out from under them by necessary medical interventions.

Don't get me wrong. I am NOT saying that taking a series of birthing classes is a bad idea by any stretch of the imagination. Quite the contrary! I think anyone doing this should be commended for their effort to give their baby(s) the best start at life. They are already winning a mom of the year award in my book. In fact, I feel kind of lazy for not taking them myself in a small way. However, we've just decided to use other means to prepare.

I've been reading books on my own and we've taken a couple shorter classes to prepare for childbirth, breastfeeding and baby care. So far I've read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and Happiest Baby on the Block. All great reads! We've also taken an outstanding Breastfeeding class and a Baby Care Basics class.  I must say that all of this has awakened in me a renewed enthusiasm for really trying to give birth naturally (meaning no induction, no C section, no epidural, no IV pain meds). I mean, I've always wanted to deliver naturally, but then again I wanted to conceive naturally too and that didn't happen.

I think once you have given yourself over so much to Western medicine, it's easy to settle on the fact that it was actually the thing that got you this far, so maybe it's not so bad after all? However, if there is one thing I know in my heart of hearts, it's that giving this child the most natural entrance into this world is THE BEST thing for baby, mom, breastfeeding...pretty much everything. I really do not see any downside of trying to go natural, outside of the pain. And really, despite the need to use so much Western medicine up until this point, I still believe in my body's strength and ability to do something women have been doing for millions of years. I still believe very strongly in the power of the human body, of the mind, and of prayer.

I feel like giving birth naturally would be very healing on a deep emotional level for us as a couple too (especially for me).
Going through infertility stole so much of the natural process of conception from us. How awesome would it be if we could have a natural delivery that allowed my body to actually do what it was designed to do ON IT'S OWN?! Yes indeed, I do like the idea of that! The pain...well that just seems like such a small sacrifice for me to go through if it means our baby won't be exposed to drugs. (I know, I know...insert scoffing and laughter from most every other mom in America)

I realize my view is not one of the majority, but it feels like something I need to at least TRY. So, as it stands now, I'm mentally prepared to "take one for the team" on the natural birthing front. I'm embracing the opportunity to be empowered instead of lending myself to fear of pain. I don't plan to just wing it though. Because we've opted not to pursue more formal classes than we've already taken, we've decided instead to hire a doula to help support the process.

I am super excited about hiring a doula! We attended a doula info. session this past weekend, a little for me but more for hubby to see what they do exactly. As always, he's on board with whatever I want to do, and I think we've already found a doula that will be great for us. If you aren't familiar with what a doula is/does...

What Doulas Do: (Click to enlarge)

One of the main things I'm concerned with is being in the hospital any longer than absolutely necessary. I would rather labor at home as long as humanly possible, and it's just hard to know when to go or if I'm reading things right as a first time mom. I don't want to go too soon and get stuck there feeling pressured to move things along with pitocin or other induction drugs (or go and get sent back home). I also don't want to get there too late. I think the biggest plus is that the doula actually comes to our house, helping me labor there, and then caravans with us to the hospital for the birth. Doulas also do birth center and home births, but we are choosing to deliver in hospital just in case of any emergencies and also since I'm on blood thinners and all that jazz. Safety of baby and mom is still the MOST important thing for us. The doula will be by our side the whole time, providing encouragement for the birth plan we have outlined ahead of time, and helping us through every situation...even if plans change, which realistically they can. This is what most doula packages include where we live in Austin...

Doula Services: (Click to Enlarge)


The cost of a doula is typically based on the amount of births they've attended in addition to their training. We've chosen someone with 5 years of experience, 100+ births, and who lives geographically near our home....so not a newbie but not a top dollar doula either.  Is it just me, or is this a steal of a deal when you consider ALL that they do for you?!

Like most families, money is tight for us right now, and the amount of things we still need for baby is overwhelming. But, I just cannot fathom trying to go naturally without the extra support. I don't have any friends who have given birth naturally, and my mom is no longer with us. The hospital is going to be full of staff offering drugs and providing suggestions that aren't even conducive to natural delivery (like laying flat on your back and not leaving the bed). I am not convinced that just having a birth plan in my file will deter the staff from their usual protocol in the least...not in this country at least. Nor is discussing it ahead of time with my OB going to truly solidify my chances of pulling it off. There aren't even any guarantees that my OB will be the one who delivers. It would really be nice to have one knowledgeable support person outside of my spouse that I can count on 100%.

Having the extra support from a professional (not just hubby) before labor, while at home laboring,  and once at hospital to guide us and advocate for us is priceless in my opinion. And if it helps me to labor well enough naturally and avoid all of the things I don't want in my body (or baby's), it's worth it times ten. As I've mentioned, I am approaching all of this with the very realistic mentality of an open mind...because things don't always go according to plan. I know this. I also know that if I don't at least TRY, a natural birth won't just magically happen on it's own either. I've already done a phone interview with our prospective doula, and she comes to our home on Monday for a 1-2 hour meeting, where we'll discuss everything and outline our birth plan. I feel like she's a good match thus far, so hopefully we'll feel the same way once meeting her in person.

In other good news, we opted to do a 3D/4D ultrasound of Preston recently. I realized a little late that the optimal time to do these is actually 27-30 weeks, and I will be 32 weeks this Friday. Doh! We were able to get in quickly with an elective ultrasound boutique which charged less than 1/2 the cost of doing it with our OB though, so we went that route. I highly recommend seeking out this option if you ever have the choice. Just make sure the technician performing the ultrasound has the same training (at least a 2 year sonography degree). They use the same exact equipment and safety measures as the OB's sonographers do, and they give you so much more for your money at the boutiques.

Our little one is not the most cooperative model, and we tried on two separate days to get some good pics. Luckily, I drink a ton of water and my amniotic fluid was excellent for being this far along (sometimes babies get squished the further along you are). However, Preston just wanted to be a little contortionist both days. He wants to keep his hands and both of his feet crossed at the ankles right by his head. Yes, all fours by his face! Who does that?! I was half annoyed and half entertained by how cute his little tootsies were. All in all we're happy we did it, and it was worth it. Now I can tell Preston what a weirdo he was in utero...

No pics please...I will block you with my feet!
Moved the tootsies for a quick second finally! What a sweet face.


Our kitchen counter is becoming quite the shrine with pics of this little guy. I've heard other moms say how neat it is to see baby when they are born and how they look exactly like they did in the 3D/4D pics, so we are excited to see how cute he is already...and of course it's always good to know he's got all of his toes too. Ha!

OB appointment tomorrow, hospital maternity tour this weekend, face-to-face meeting with our doula on Monday, and final perinatologist apt. the following week.  Edit: Because clearly I cannot count- 8.5 weeks left until our due date!

47 comments:

  1. "I feel like giving birth naturally would be very healing on a deep emotional level for us as a couple too (especially for me)"--- This, YES! Honestly, I think this is why I will return for IVF. Adoption seems easier now than IVF, but the pregnancy and delivery, I just feel like I NEED the experience in order to heal. Even if we move forward with adoption next, I think I'll want to try IVF again for this reason. Now, I'm not saying I'd actually make it through without pain meds (eeeeek), but I agree that it would be very healing to the soul and would help return just a bit of faith in my body.

    Love to you, sweet friend! Can't believe you're already 32 weeks! Can't wait to see sweet Preston!

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    1. I think each of us tries to grasp onto something, anything, that can help us experience what it's like to become a "normal mom" after going through such craziness to get here. I'm sure whether one is using donor eggs, adoption, or other means to become a mom, they try to find their own ways of achieving some semblance of normal motherhood...only seems natural to seek that out. Thanks for always being supportive Amanda!

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  2. Only 7.5 more weeks? You're so close! He is adorable - love the tiny toes.

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    1. OOPS I miscounted...8.5 weeks. Let me go edit that! Thanks Lilee!

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  3. What?! 7.5 Weeks??? That's it? Preston is absolutely the cutest!

    I had interviewed a doula even in my early weeks with the last pregnancy (her services covered 3 home visits during gestation and also unlimited text/talk/skype and a open library, I loved having resources so early). I am totally on board with using a doula, and I think you are going to LOVE it! So excited for you to try the all natural way, I think you're going to love it, and I'll be praying that that's exactly what you get to experience!! XOXO

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    1. Glad you've had good first impression with doulas as well. Very refreshing to hear!

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  4. I had a natural birth and it was the best experience! For me, the contractions hurt way more than pushing. Good luck, I know you'll do great!!

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    1. Now that I hunted down your new link, I'm all caught up. So happy to read you went natural and all went off without a hitch! woo hoo! CONGRATS!!!

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  5. How cute are those lil toes and what a sweet face he has!! I can't believe you are just 7.5 weeks away, I am so excited for you!

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    1. Thanks Amie! All of this technology makes me wonder how moms ever made it through not knowing a darn thing in the olden days.

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  6. omg he really does look SO cute in that ultrasound pic. i've been debating if i wanted to do the 3D/4D one... glad everything is going smoothly!

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    1. It's pretty neat Shay, and I did quite a bit of research ahead of time on safety. I figured my OB wouldn't be offering it if it weren't safe, and since there are high risk women who get u/s multiple times per week, I figured I could at least throw in one fun u/s. I mostly wanted the pic for his baby book.

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  7. I'm convinced I need a 3D/4D ultrasound now! Oh he is just so cute!! Look at that little nose! I know you cannot wait to kiss that sweet little forehead of his.

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    1. I'm going to eat him up! I will have to be careful not to bite that nose too hard. :)

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  8. Wow! Things are moving right along for you! I love your birth plan and that you have had the time to really think about what's best for YOU! I can't wait to be reading your baby's birth story in the next few weeks... can you believe it?! XO

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    1. Thanks Aubrey! Nope, still really cannot believe this is happening. I know you get what I mean. It's just unreal that it's actually happening for us. Excited for more updates from you and your two little men as well. :)

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  9. I think going natural is the bravest an couragest thing. I was talking to my cousin recently and she went natural. She also told me she didn't go to the hospital until she was 6cm and the nurses were like "Wow, for being ur first u really hanged on." She had the same thought as you, did not want to hang out in bed all day taking that pain. Now she's having her second and as much as she's scared she's going natural again. Best of luck! Preston looks adorable.

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    1. Love this story. This is exactly what I need to hear right now, so thank you! Nope, do not want to give in to all the offers for meds...which then forces you to be in bed without a choice. Ick

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  10. He is such a cutie!!! I love your birth plan - I think it will be so great for you and Preston!!! Love the idea of a doula - all my friends told me to GET ONE!! haha, they don't (and did natural births) and regretted it after :) So GOOD FOR YOU!!!! SO SO SO CLOSE!

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    1. Thank you so much for this extra reassurance that we're doing the right thing by going with a doula. I love hearing that your other friends are recommending it as a must have too!

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    2. I love your birthing approach. You are so right about how everything fits together. Girl, I pray you get exactly what you want giving birth to sweet Preston. Speaking if which - that face! You are getting close Mama! Thrilled for you. ��

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  11. Sounds like you have very realistic expectations about your birth plan - which is awesome. Not to "give away my story," but I'll just say that nothing went to plan on my L&D, so I'm glad I didn't have my heart set on any specific things and just kind of remained flexible. I was upset about how it went down... but not devastated. And the baby at the end makes it so worth it anyway.

    It is unbelievable how much baby Molly looks like her 33 week 4D ultrasound photo. I mean... uncanny. So yeah, I would say you can pretty much count on that picture matching up! It's incredible. (Also, he's very cute and I love the foot block, haha).

    7.5 weeks - it will fly! Eee! So excited for you!!

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    1. Sorry to hear your L & D didn't go as planned, but glad you weren't devastated by the change in plans. That's exactly why I want to be prepared and have support, but I also don't want to be totally crushed if it doesn't go my ideal way. You are so right...a healthy baby will make it all worth it no matter what. CONGRATS to you on your new little one!

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  12. Preston is already the cutest! How sweet is he! I hope you can give birth naturally as you hope and it gives you the healing and everything you would hope for. I know however it goes though, you will handle it like a pro and Preston will be so lucky to have you and your husband for parents!

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    1. Thanks Jennifer. Let's hope you're right!

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  13. Oh my goodness, what a sweet face!! He is so sweet! I'm excited to hear about our doula experience as I've been considering getting certified.

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    1. I will definitely be reporting back about my experiences with the doula along the way. How cool you are considering becoming one!

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  14. Yay yay yay!!! I'm so proud of you for writing this! I feel the EXACT same way! We are going to try to go natural as well. I'm still on the fence of hiring a doula or not. I really want one, but Kyle thinks we can do it on our own. I'm just not sure. We did the Bradley Method class and our instructor is a doula. So if we do decide to hire one, it'll be her. We both loved her! And fortunately even if we don't hire her, she told us, we can text/call her throughout the entire labor with any questions we have. LOVE her!! I'll let you know how it goes. I have 3.5 weeks! OMG! How is it almost time??

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    1. Well, I think maybe if we did take more classes I might not feel as much a need for the doula. I've heard from both sides. Not sure if you follow Gypsy Mama's blog, but she just gave birth naturally with no doula and only took birthing classes. Check out her delivery story if you haven't yet.

      I'm excited for you! Hoping everything goes exactly as planned for you. It will be such an inspiration to other women to try naturally too!

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  15. Omigosh!! I can't believe how quickly the time is flying! That ultrasound pic is fantastic. Such an exciting time!

    It's so wonderful that you've done all the research and really thought about how you want things to go. I was induced with both babies -- eviction notices were necessary as they clearly wanted to stay as long as possible! LOL! Since I was given Pitocin for both I have no idea what natural contractions feel like. And it's OK. I did have an epidural with both because Pitocin contractions are pretty intense. Luckily my body responded really well -- I immediately relaxed and then both boys came out in no time with minimal pushing. We had healthy boys in the end -- I wouldn't change those birth experiences for the world.

    Can't wait for you guys to hold Preston in your arms!

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    1. Such a good point on the pitocin. That is the kicker...that if you need induction it becomes muuuuch more difficult to not get the epidural, because it produces contractions so much stronger than would naturally occur. I'm praying no one needs an eviction notice around here. lol Everyone keeps saying how FTM's tend to go over due date a week, and my OB like to induce if baby isn't coming on it's own more than 1 week past due date. I'll be pulling some major tricks out of my sleeve if this baby doesn't come on time on his own. So glad to hear you had a good experience!

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  16. You are so, so close to holding that sweet little man in your arms. What a beautiful day that will be. Your posts seem to just radiate happiness these days. It melts my heart. xoxo

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    1. Thank you Suzanne! Insane how close it's getting. Half excited, half scared...is there a half left for complete disbelief?

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  17. I am so impressed with your outlook on your entire pregnancy and delivery. I have seen so many women with detailed birth plans and expectations who are setting themselves up for feelings of failure and sadness when their birth plans do not go as planned. Your reason for wanting a natural birth is truly beautiful (odd word to describe it, but it is such a heartfelt and honest reason, so beautiful fits!) and I have no doubts that you are setting yourself up for success. I have loved reading and following your journey, and I am so excited for you both!

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    1. Thank you Kristen. I'd be lying if I said I won't be disappointed if it doesn't work out for a natural vaginal delivery, but at least I am trying to be realistic about the fact that things do change. I am trying to keep a healthy balance between being strong about making it happen, but also being flexible enough not to let the perfectionist in me be completely heartbroken if it doesn't happen exactly as planned.

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  18. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Preston is beautiful. I love that ultrasound pic. I'm right there with ya. I've always wanted to hire a doula and go the natural route. If I could just get sticking pregnant…lol. I think your plan for child birth is awesome!

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    1. My hubby just made the comment this morning about how other women may have an easy time getting pregnant but then have really hard pregnancies and deliveries and maybe it was just my path to have the opposite...a hard time getting pregnant but now an extremely smooth pregnancy (and hopefully delivery). That is my hope for you too Jessah!

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  19. wow! I can't believe only 8 more weeks! Just seems like yesterday I was reading that you were pregnant. Time sure is flying by! :) Sending you hugs! xo

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  20. I think that it is great that you are planning a natural birth. My sister in law delivered 3 out of her 4 boys naturally. I don't have that option due to Baby A being breech and the placenta being where it is. It isn't safe for me or the babies.. Your precious baby is almost here!!

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    1. Safety is #1 for you and your babies! Glad to hear your sister deliverd 3 out of 4 naturally as well...love hearing all of the birth testimonies!

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  21. I don't think you'll ever regret hiring a doula. The support that they provide is absolutely fantastic, no matter what kind of delivery you end up having.

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    1. That's what I hear April. I think I'll have peace of mind knowing we made the right decisions the whole way through and weren't pressured into making last minute decisions (in a hospital bed of all places).

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  22. I am super late Emily but I am so thrilled with your choice to go natural. That's a struggle for me but I am putting it in my mind that I too will birth naturally. I am praying for you and believing God has equipped you with the tools you need to make it happen. Also Preston is a doll seriously so cute!

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    1. Thanks Charity. I'm thrilled you aren't just assuming you'll have a C section because you have twins, and I'm already praying that both of your babies will be in optimal position to make it possible for you to birth naturally too!

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  23. Omg wow, you're having a boy!! Clearly I'm late in catching up here... but congrats! I can't believe how adorable he is in that 3D ultrasound -- like basically no babies ever look cute in those, so he'll probably come out looking like a perfect Gerber baby. :) Best of luck in going for a natural birth - just don't be too hard on yourself if you do opt for the epidural or end up needing a C-section or whatever; what baby needs most when he's born is a momma in good shape, mentally and physically, so if the pain becomes too much, don't be a hero!

    The doula will be great in helping out through this process, though... good call!

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