Thursday, December 5, 2013

Post-Transfer: Fertility Affirmations & Stress Free Zone

Yesterday's FET went off without a hitch. I would definitely say I had a peace that passes all understanding throughout the day. To begin with, we had some crazy fog like I've never seen before in Austin, and of course it caused a ton of traffic on the drive to our pre-transfer acu session. However, I wasn't phased and just had this overwhelming amount of calm and peace. My acupuncturist arrived 15 minutes late because of the crazy weather. I knew this would cut our session somewhat short and that we'd be late to our FET, but still I wasn't phased one bit. I was just so calm and content. I seriously felt like I'd taken a xanax or something, but I hadn't.

When we arrived we went through the normal drill...paperwork, gowns, hats, fuzzy slippers. The embryologist came out with pics of our embryos. To be honest, I would have liked to see them expanded a little further, but I think they just snap these pics kind of early in relation to the actual transfer time at my clinic. Don't get me wrong. They are good blasts! I just like to see them re-expanded fully out to the zona pellucida, but I really can't complain. Just as all of our other embryos, they have about 150-200 cells each and a clearly defined inner cell mass...




By the time we were rolled into the transfer room and saw our embabies on the screen they'd almost fully expanded. No luck seeing them hatching this time around, but the fact they'd progressed since these photos was reassurance they were indeed alive and kicking!

I think I've mastered the art of filling the bladder just enough for the ultrasound guidance by now and so did not need to have my bladder drained by my RE and did not even need to use the restroom after the transfer. I used my time laying on the table to listen to one of my favorite new affirmation CD's. I highly recommend this for anyone doing IVF or currently pregnant from IVF...

Fertility Affirmations by Sarah Arkell

When I first listened to this, I found myself rolling my eyes quite a bit I'll admit. Some of the affirmations you are supposed to repeat to yourself are...

"I conceive easily."
"My body always has normal cycles."
"The IVF process is easy for me."


Well, when those things haven't exactly been true in the past, it's seems a little pie in the sky to repeat at first. However, I realized that for every affirmation I was rolling my eyes at, it was a reminder of the negative script that was actually rolling in my subconscious and thus causing me to doubt these statements. If I'm rolling my eyes, it means I'm telling my body those things aren't true right? Well, I believe strongly in the power of the mind, and whether it's happened yet or not, I want my body to know I believe in it. I want to tell my body how powerful and amazing it is. I want to invite a successful pregnancy into our lives and put faith in my body to achieve this.

Even after everything we've been through, I have never EVER called my body "stupid." I hear women doing this all the time, and while I get the frustration with infertility 100%, it's kind of a pet peeve of mine to hear this. Doing the affirmations made me realize that even if I'm doing right by not constantly professing defeat over my body out loud,  I can still do even better. I can change the subconscious script that lays dormant even deeper in my psyche by talking to it and training my brain to think more positive thoughts. If it takes a cheesy affirmations CD from a lady with a soothing Australian accent to give me daily reminders of where my mind should be, then so be it!

Here is another one for all you ladies not undergoing IVF. It's designed for natural conception...

http://www.amazon.com/Hypnosis-Fertility-Bree-Taylor-Molyneaux/dp/B00BI7CLBK
Hypnosis for Fertility by Bree Taylor Molyneaux

By the way, I downloaded these for free through Rhapsody. Both mp3's are available on Rhapsody, iTunes and Amazon, as well as other places online.

In an effort to stay in my little Zen bubble, I am definitely not rushing into any substitute teaching jobs the next few days. There is a lot of running around some days when subbing, to cover other teachers (during what it supposed to be the teacher's normal "plan time"). We get redirected to another class we may not even be signed up to sub for (their cheapskate way of saving $ on subs). There are days when I've barely had time to pee or eat lunch, and I don't feel comfortable running myself ragged when so much is at stake here.  My RE does not require strict bedrest, but just very limited activity and no doing anything you don't absolutely have to do.

My acu likes to do a session 24 hours after transfer, so I'll leave the house briefly to do that today. I will have one more session next week before our hCG test, which is on Friday 12/13. Let's hope we prove all the superstitions of that day wrong! My main focus has been and still is on remaining stress and drama free. And because I have way too much time on my hands today, here are some fun images which capture this...



Some good rules to live by. You don't have to ask me twice. If it doesn't make me feel good emotionally, spiritually or physically, I'm not subjecting myself to it!

Hubby flew out to FL this morning to take finals for his MBA program and begin new classes for next semester. Did I mention how proud I am of him? Well I am. He has managed to do extremely well in school, while working full time at a new position in his company, all while going through fertility treatments and attending EVERY single doctor's appointment throughout IVF....not to mention all the extra stuff guys "get to do" as part of this process.

Last night was one of the nights where we got to do 3 not so fun injections: Delestrogen, PEO & Lovenox. I turned around and watched him do the IM shots for the first time. Usually I just close my eyes really tightly and grab onto the kitchen counter like I'm bracing for hurricane force winds. While it was more painful watching the needles go in and out, I didn't faint or throw up.

Tonight will be the first night giving myself a PEO shot. Yikes! I'm actually not stressed that much about it in comparison to the one I'll be doing on Sat... It's the Delestrogen that scares me to death, because that's the thickest needle and it's like it grabs my ass cheek on the way out and the flesh clings to the big fat needle as it's being removed. It's so gross! All 3 of these shots have been bleeding more lately too, but perhaps that's a good sign my blood is actually flowing instead of clotting? Who the heck knows. All I know is that if other women before me have done these shots, then so can I.

One small step at a time...

24 comments:

  1. So glad your FET went well and that you're taking it easy. NO DRAMA!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Saying lots of prayers for you Emily!! I just know this will work :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have to say that those are two good looking babies!! Sending so many positive vibes your direction for a fast tww and lots of sticking around for 18 years +

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ouch!!! Good luck with those shots. That Delestrogen sounds like a real doozy. You have no idea how much I am praying and hoping that you get the most fantastic Christmas miracle this year. Sending you lots of love. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good luck with the shots. OUCH! And those babies are so beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so glad you are so relaxed! Being in a school is definitely not the place to relax! Days are busy busy busy! I have been thinking about you and sending you good vibes. I just have this feeling.......... xoxo big hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love all the no drama pictures! Sounds like you're fully embracing it! Fingers are crossed tightly for you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good looking embryos! Love the zen attitude! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I just love the pictures of the embabies! I saved the affirmations. At first I thought "that's silly my body doesn't do any thing of that sort.." but then after reading your explanation I have to agree. In with the positivity and out with the negativity. Wishing you the best of luck on giving yourself those shots! You got it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yay, you're pupo! What beautiful embabies :) Good luck with the shot tonight. I'll be thinking of and praying for you! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  11. A peace that passes all understanding, that only can come from Him! How sweet is that! What a beautiful way to start you FET! Excited for this and believing that it is! I 100% agree, only speak life over your body! Positive things! Those words and thoughts have a HUGE impact!! Proud of your sweet husband too! Hope the shot goes great tonight! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  12. Those babies are already beautiful!! God is just the most awesome creator! I think the affirmations are a good way to keep yourself positive and keep the negative nelly toxins out. I am praying for you and believing with you that God has his hands all in this. PS those pictures are hilarious!! I love that you are keeping it light.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Charity- Are you "Praying Nerd" from NYC on New Hope's BC site? How are you doing?

      Delete
  13. Btw I am cracking up at the imagine of you holding on tightly for the shots! So excited for your husband I bet he's thrilled!

    ReplyDelete
  14. So proud of you, Emily! You just stay in your drama-free zone, girl. :) I have a good feeling about this one. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good Luck Emily! Fingers crossed!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I loved to read that you were only thinking and speaking positive things over your body! I totally agree 110% with doing this! The Bible says that what we think we will speak and that what we speak shapes our lives (Proverbs 18:21). I can't wait to open my computer screen up soon and see a pregnancy announcement from you! Saying lots of prayers! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am so glad everything went so well and you felt so much peace! Those are some beautiful embryos!!! Enjoy your time taking it easy! I am praying for you that this is it!!!
    Thank you for reminding me and for your example to think positively!
    Love your no drama/stress signs too btw :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wishing you lots of luck and love!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I admire your optimism going into this FET. You sound like you have such a calm soothing zen going on. Love! Keep it up girl!
    Goodluck with the shot. You and me both when u say the shots are starting to bleed more. Praying that u get ur Christmas miracles.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I've been thinking of you! You are so graceful--you are literally full of grace. I just don't know what else to say, except I BELIEVE. I'll cross my fingers but I don't need to. XO

    ReplyDelete
  21. So glad to hear your FET went well, and I hope you can avoid all drama and keep that peaceful feeling all through your wait. Wishing you lots of luck and success with this FET! Sounds like it's off to a great start!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Those are some good looking blastocysts! I will pray extra hard for them to implant and snuggle in for the next 9 months! :D

    ReplyDelete
  23. NO DRAMA, NO STRESS! LOVE IT! Thinking positive thoughts for a bright and cheery update in a few days. :)

    ReplyDelete