Talk about an initial consult! My session ended up lasting 2 hrs. 45 minutes in total, and it included a treatment for the last 45 min I think? I lost track of time while on the table, because I was in such a relaxed state I fell asleep. Ahhhh, I love that feeling of leaving so relaxed that you don't even want to turn the radio on during the ride home, because your whole body and soul are just so at peace you don't want to interrupt the feeling.
I know I was whining about compiling my paperwork yesterday and all the feelings brought to the surface. My apologies for the off color day, but I am happily back on my positivity horse now. So glad I brought all the paperwork too. Clearly it didn't get stuffed into a file somewhere, and it was obvious that my new acu, Sarai (pronounced Sarah) had actually taken the time to read through it.
What impressed me most was that she actually knew about reproductive immunology and knew exactly what ANA, MTHFR, Anti-Cardiolipin Antibodies, and Protein S deficiency are. In fact, I mentioned nothing of any concerns over a possible "immunological issue," but she is the one who looked at my test results and says, "It seems you may have a bit of an immunological issue going on here." Well hallelujah! It was a breath of fresh air that she knew enough about endocrinology and immunology to make the connection and bring this point up in the first place. Remember, my RE still doesn't agree that I might have any immunological response significantly related to the blood clotting issues, so it's just nice to have someone else notice the same signs I'm seeing right off the bat and bring it up as a plausible factor in our infertility....or more specifically implantation failure.
Sarai let me know that my treatments will be aimed at addressing immunological concerns as well. It is important to point out though, that while she and I both agree there is something amiss with regards to a possible immunological cause in my case, neither of us is convinced that the ever changing and "experimental" protocols being used by many RI's out there are necessarily fool proof either. There are plenty of women who open the big fat expensive can of worms that is reproductive immunology and continue to miscarry or have failed IVF's, just as there are also women who swear by it. It's just still somewhat "iffy" at the end of the day in many people's opinions, which is why it's so controversial. I have no doubt that this field will be growing by leaps and bounds in the coming years, and I really look forward to all that will come to light with more double blind peer reviewed research.
Anyhoo, Praise Jesus for an acu who is educated on the topic and realizes it could be playing a role. We'll work a lot on balancing my kidney energy, since that is where the immune system is rooted, and I am severely kidney yang deficient anyways. I've known I'm yang deficient for some time, but again, it was nice to receive validation that at least I have been working in the right direction with my previous acu treatments. We will continue using that as part of the foundation of our treatments together, as well as working to improve blood deficiency, spleen and liver Qi...and whatever else pops up along the way that needs addressing.
The most surprising part of the session was how much time she spent talking about the emotional aspects of this journey, and how important it is to keep my heart and mind in the right place. We talked about how I am really working on staying in a place of peace and contentment and how I've recently felt like I was finally receiving that peace that was lost for so long. No, it's not perfect 24/7 (yesterday I wasn't feeling 100% content), but overall it's an improvement. I'm OK with where we're at, even if it's not exactly where we'd like to be.
In the coming days, I'm going to be working even more on redirecting fear and worry by rephrasing any negative comments I'm tempted to make. So, for example:
Instead of saying, "I am just worried my lining won't be thick enough for an embryo to implant."
I'll say, "It will be so awesome if my lining grows to the perfect thickness this cycle."
Instead of saying, "What if this cycle doesn't work? Then what?"
I'll say, "It will be such a blessing when we finally have success and can bring home a healthy happy baby."
Don't poo poo on it folks. I do wholeheartedly agree that small changes like that to our vocabulary can make a huge difference, not only in mood, but also in the type of energy you attract back into your life. So, for now I'm going to work on catching myself when I begin making statements driven by fear or worry and simply rephrase them into positive statements. It's a habit like anything else really.
|What a great reminder!|
Best part about the new acu? It is literally a 1 minute drive from my RE. That means that day of transfer it will be easy breezy to swing by for a pre-transfer session. So, now let me go ahead and practice some of my positivity statements...
I am hopeful that I will regain balance and that my body will be better able to focus energy where it's needed most. I will have a more robust lining, improved blood flow, and a more peaceful state of mind. I know that no matter the outcome of this natural cycle, I will be content. I'm confident I am doing all that I can to give us the best chance of conception possible. If we do need to do an FET following this cycle, I know my mind, body, and spirit will be in the very best place possible as we embark on our next steps. Ultimately, God is in control and our time will come.