Sunday, November 17, 2013

Neg. Sorry

I found out yesterday (via text of all ways) that this cycle didn't work. I did the blood test a day early (13dpIUI), because I began spotting on Friday (12dpIUI) and had a feeling that the only thing holding off another cycle was the Prometrium I was taking nightly.

A few hours after I gave blood, I texted the on-call nurse to give her a head's up to look for my results and asked her to CALL ME once she received them. You know what she freaking did....she texted me back within 2 seconds saying "Neg. Sorry" That is how you freaking tell someone that they aren't pregnant?!


Completely unacceptable if you ask me. Can you at least spell out the whole word NEGATIVE and maybe add "I'm so very sorry" or something?! It's actually possible to convey a heartfelt tone via text, but clearly she is not well versed in this. Just "Neg. Sorry"?! A whole 1.5 words? Really???

I understand that I texted her in the first place, but I chose to do that instead of paging her to provide my full name in writing BEFORE her call back to me; Just thought it might be helpful when she was looking for my results to call me back with. Furthermore, I specifically asked her to CALL ME with the results, because I also had questions regarding using a new medication for our FET (Delestrogen shots) and the immediacy of ordering this since estrogen for FET's starts on CD2, and clearly my period was trying to make an appearance already.

Of course, I called her immediately with my questions and let her know that "I figured I would call rather than play text tag and receive two word responses, especially since this is a somewhat sensitive subject." Is it just me? Am I over reacting? Her "Neg. Sorry" just put a reeeally bad taste in our mouths. Even my husband was annoyed. She apologized for the lack of tact and brevity of her text, but come on. Use your head and think before you text a woman who's spent $25K on fertility treatments this year and still no baby!

Just because I have a medical file 4 inches thick and have been around the block with treatments, it doesn't mean I don't deserve a little compassion when delivering the blow of another negative result. I normally have nothing but good things to say about my fertility clinic, but every once in a while a nurse does something really f'ing stupid, and this warrants a complaint to my RE (who also happens to own the clinic) as far as I'm concerned. He is not going to be happy about it either I have a feeling. This man calls every patient personally after IVF cycle results and will spend a full hour on the phone with you discussing next steps. I'm pretty sure he expects a little more than a "Neg. Sorry" text from his on-call nurse. Ok, I'm done venting now, but it still is kind of shocking to me. Wow, just wow.

Not to worry though, I am ok. There were zero tears. I was probably too pissed off at the nurse to shed a tear, but hey whatever works to get you through the tough times right. We went out to dinner and split a big fat order of chicken fajitas on fluffy white gluten filled soft tortillas. Man, I'd forgotten how good things with flour taste! Ha! I'd also forgotten how yummy the occasional serving of ice cold dairy tastes in the form of Breyer's vanilla bean on top of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies...until today that is!


The past 24 hours have been a fun little hoorah complete with food porn. These cookies are awesome by the way, if you are a fellow GF eater. I'm not going to say they are "healthy" but they have none of the typical unhealthy ingredients like HFCS, hydrogenated oils, etc. and are a better option as far as pre-made cookie dough goes.

Christmas decor is also up, and we are happily enjoying a little holiday cheer...



I actually put this up last week after a sub job which really tested my resolve. I got to listen to a 17 year old brag about her pregnancy and show off sonogram pics for literally ALL of the 1.5 hours I had her in class. Well, outside of the time she spent eating some nitrate filled cold cut Lunchables, a box of Hot Tamale candies, and a rice krispie treat, washing it all down with a Starbucks mocha latte. Nope, I'm not bitter....not bitter at all!

I am working on being non-judgemental towards people who treat their bodies like complete garbage and seem to get knocked up without even trying. It's just really hard when you treat your body like a damn temple 99% of the time in hopes that it could somehow help prepare your body for pregnancy. I certainly wouldn't want to trade places with this very young mother-to-be, but I will never ever be carefree about pregnancy with all we've been through, and that is just a hard pill to swallow. I also couldn't help but think how teenage pregnancy was NOT something to be proud of when I was in school. Oh how times have clearly changed. I think we have MTV's Teen Mom to thank for that.

I took the next day off of work and decorated all day long to force some holiday cheer into our lives. Somehow things are just a little bit better when you come home to Christmas lights. I'm actually enjoying subbing overall and am scheduled for another high school job tomorrow. However, this is an AP class of 10th graders, so I'm fairly certain it will be a pregnancy free day...let's at least hope so.

I assume a new cycle will start tomorrow, which means baseline ultrasound will most likely be Tuesday/Wednesday. I am requesting the use of Delestrogen shots this time around for my lovely yet stubborn lining. I may even request PIO shots in place of Crinone for the progesterone support portion of this FET. I know Crinone is supposed to be equally as effective, but I don't want to keep trying the same things and expect a different result. Obviously, the Estradiol/Crinone combo hasn't worked thus far, and this will be our 4th IVF transfer. Besides, that is how tired I am of putting random meds in my vag. You know you are officially OVER IT when you are actually willing to choose imtramuscular injections via a huge ass needle over putting one more dose of anything inside your lady parts.

So, there you have it folks. We're cleaning out the freezer on this one. Last two embryos and one more shot at this IVF thing.

30 comments:

  1. Um, yeah. That nurse has ZERO tact, and I would be completely pissed off. "Neg. Sorry" is a completely disrespectful way to let someone know that a cycle failed. She must be truly clueless. I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of the result.

    As for the knocked up teen moron, I can identify. Last year I worked in an alternative high school and many young ladies were pregnant and made me rage. Not fair.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow! I read the first half of your blog and thought "seriously?!?!" I can't believe she sent you a text! That is so unprofessional! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. On another note, your house and Christmas decorations are just beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. I've dealt with some insensitive nurses/docs with our infertility journey as well...but I think this lady takes the cake. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG- your nirse's text response is just horrible and so uncalled for. I'm sorry about the result AND about how she relayed the news :(

    Your house looks gorgeous and I love your trees!

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow, that is crazy that she texted you back all of 2 words. i definitely hope you complain! especially since you specifically asked her to call you. sorry you got a BFN, that just totally sucks, especially when you suspect it's coming.

    i did PIO shots for my frozen, and they definitely weren't as bad as i thought they were going to be. it was nice to not have to have the nasty leakage/side effects of the crinone! i also did the delestrogen shots... not sure why but our clinic insists on IM injects for all FET cycles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh...you KNOW how mad I get when my medical care providers screw up (doctors, nurses, receptionists, pharmacists--I've nailed them all) and there is NO excuse for her text. FIRST of all, this is private patient information and a test result, so since f*ing when is it even legal to report it via text because there is no way they can prove it is actually YOU receiving the text. That's ludicrous. And also, that's so tacky and impersonal and her texting it--without SPELLING the words--totally trivializes the fact that you just invested your emotions, time, money, and physical well-being and you got NO return on your investment. You are paying good money, so the clinic should expect their staff to give you concierge service with great attention to detail--you CAN take your money elsewhere, you ARE a consumer. Gawd you know if it was me I would've hung up the phone, burned rubber to the office, and rushed in there like a linebacker ready to tackle somebody. You aren't being oversensitive at all. Serve it to 'em.
    Your house is totes gorgeous! Lovin' the d├ęcor and since Mr. MLACS will be gone Dec. 5-20th I figure I will put up some Christmas stuff this week so we can enjoy it together while he's home for the next couple weeks.
    Also, the commercialization of pregnant teenagers makes me SICK. Teen pregnancy rates were on the decline until MTV decided to sensationalize it. I just...what can I even say about it? So wrong. Anyways, hope the AP kids are smart enough to use protection or save it for college. Lol. XO

    ReplyDelete
  7. That is just so inappropriate. I know it's hard to give disappointing news, and I know the nurses must become immune to it over time, but seriously try a little tenderness. You should definately convey this to your RE. Best of luck with your preparation for the FET!

    ReplyDelete
  8. That nurse seriously was unprofessional in her response. Heck, it wasn't even human. I don't care if this is her "job" these pare peoples lives and dreams and I'm so sorry Emily! I'm sorry this was a bfn, sorry she responded that way, sorry that it's been one more year and here you are. With all my heart I am praying this last IVF is the one! You are in my thoughts a lot and I'm glad your RE is taking good care of you! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  9. Completely unacceptable and you had every right to be put off by her rudeness. I'm so sorry you found out that way and I'm so sorry that the IUI didn't work. You're Christmas tree looks beautiful. Well done you. Seems like the perfect mindset of cheer before heading into this FET. As always, you're in my thoughts. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can't believe the nurse just sent you a text! I use the same clinic but the one here in San Antonio. I have actually had a nurse from the Austin office call and say some inappropriate things to me which I reported to my RE who was pissed! I wonder if it was the same one!? I have so much hope in your FET, we are at the beginning of our first FET right now. Always praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was Pam, the on-call nurse. She only responds outside of business hours and is normally very helpful....not this time! I will say that I have been beyond impressed with the level of attention I've gotten at TFC overall. They seriously run a tight ship there. However, I think this was a case of her just looking at me as someone who has been through this a zillion times already, so maybe she didn't need to wear kid gloves with the result, esp. since it was "just an IUI"? Either that, or she's just an older woman who isn't so "text savvy" and doesn't realize there are certain ways to write things that are considered rude. She made the comment of "Sorry. I don't have many patients who text me." So, could be combo of both. Best of luck to you with the FET Catherine!

      Delete
  11. First of all, I'm sorry for the negative! I know you were excited for all of the pieces to fit together, so I'm sure you're bummed. Secondly, I'm sorry you had to deal with that... a text? Seriously? Hopeful that the additional meds and all the work you've done will make for a very successful FET!

    ReplyDelete
  12. ugh Emily!!! Not ok. Seriously, the owner of that office owes you a BIG apology, and in person too. Totally not acceptable. So sorry you had to deal with that. On another note, your house looks ridiculously gorgeous!!! Feel free to come decorate mine! Thinking about you! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. What an insensitive load of crap! I agree with Caroline, someone needs to apologize.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can't honestly believe that happened to you. VERY unprofessional.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh wow, that nurse's response was just brutal!! Are you planning to bring it up with your RE?

    p.s. Your Christmas decorations (and cookies with ice cream) look DELISH!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Emily, I'm so sorry. :( That nurse is a freaking idiot. You are not over reacting at all. Good Lord, the rage I would feel if someone treated me that way. Wow. You're right, things are just a little bit better with Christmas lights up. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so sorry this wasn't the one Emily and even more sorry for how you received the news, just terrible!! On another note your house looks beautiful!! I use similar colors on my tree too :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Aww I am so sorry I actually hate when people text me like that in general. For big news I would have been really annoyed. You are rightfully annoyed she had no tact or sympathy. It doesn't matter if you had been there for 10 years each onto is a grieving process for TTCers and someone should tell her that. Those cookies are beautiful and I agree your home is gorgeous! I hope you are having a wonderful Monday dear.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ohh Emily. I'm sorry to hear the result but pissed off for you about the way it was delivered. Of course you should be out raged! You should never deliver critical results via a text!
    The tree is beautiful...and those gluten-ful goodies look delicious. I'm still (trying to) hoping that I'll be gluten free for the next 9 months. HA! Well...when I get the BFN...at least I have Thanksgiving Gluten to wallow in! :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gluten-free is not that hard. You can totally do it, and those cookies actually ARE gluten-free so you can have those too! Hoping you get some good news very soon my friend!

      Delete
  20. Gag, her response it totally uncalled for, unprofessional, lazy, and tacky. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I think you are perfectly justified in your feelings towards that situation. And, I would be pissed too.

    Those cookies + ice cream look Amazing! And, so does your house! I always wanted stairs only so I could decorate them during the holidays. :)

    P.S. There is a package in the mail with your name on it. It is said to arrive next Monday. I hope you can use everything in there.

    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You rock Darcie! Will keep my eyes out for the package. Thank you Love! ;)

      Delete
  21. A big sarcastic clap clap to your asshole of a nurse, sadly common sense and tactfulness are lost on too many people these days. A big hug to you though, wishing you the very best with your little embries! Your holiday home decor is lovely :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have been out of the loop for a while, trying to distract myself with other things while waiting but decided to check up on you today. So sorry for the BFN and so sorry that on top of that you had to deal with a crass nurse. Big hugs to you! I am glad you do have an FET planned, I'm hoping that jumping on a new cycle will make it easier to deal with the bfn. Beautiful tree btw, good for you for cheering yourself up with cookies and ice cream!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wow. How unprofessional of her. I would have been furious if a nurse would had texted me with the results. Dealing with so many patients going through IF you would think it would be embedded into their brain to be empathetic. I'm sorry for the negative results, Em. I am constantly praying for you. You are one tough lady that needs a break from all this frustration.

    I love the decorations! & u totally made me want some cookies!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sorry Em, I really had a feeling this worked :-/

    I totally hear you on the injections vs. shoving the same hormones up your lady parts. I have to say, other than the transfer itself, it's the thing I hate the most about a cycle. Yup, I'd rather have a sore bum than have to deal with the little green pills and the prometrium.

    Your tree looks wonderful! You've made me excited to decorate… guess that's what I'm doing this weekend while the hubby is hunting!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Emily, I am so sorry and sad to hear this. I just want to see this work!!!
    I HATE insensitive nurses who deliver info with such poor taste! You are not being oversensitive; she should know better no matter how many times you have done this. I have had insensitive nurses give me results on IUI's and it made it that much worse. I hope you definitely let the doctor know how tacky this nurse is; hopefully she will never do that again to someone else.

    Enjoy your cookies and everything else you choose to eat! You deserve it!

    Your tree/house looks fabulous! I've been thinking about getting my decorations out too :)

    I hope your next cycle is the one we have all been waiting for! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  26. What an asshole nurse! I'm so sorry! I don't blame you a bit for being pissed, and good for you for calling her back and saying what you did. I hope she gets into enough trouble to remember to use some effing tact in the future. I am amazed by some nurses who are totally not compassionate. How can you be in a job where you help people if you aren't considerate of their emotions? Anyway, I'm wishing you lots and lots of luck with your upcoming FET and hope the tweaks to the your meds will be the ticket!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have NO words for what that urse did....I mean..I do...But it would be ALL profanity...
    anyway...I am so so so so so so sorry....I just want to give you a HUGE hug IRL...I know there are NO words I can say right now. But my heart, thoughts, and prayer are with you...xxxx's

    ReplyDelete