Neg. Sorry

I found out yesterday (via text of all ways) that this cycle didn't work. I did the blood test a day early (13dpIUI), because I began spotting on Friday (12dpIUI) and had a feeling that the only thing holding off another cycle was the Prometrium I was taking nightly.

A few hours after I gave blood, I texted the on-call nurse to give her a head's up to look for my results and asked her to CALL ME once she received them. You know what she freaking did....she texted me back within 2 seconds saying "Neg. Sorry" That is how you freaking tell someone that they aren't pregnant?!

Completely unacceptable if you ask me. Can you at least spell out the whole word NEGATIVE and maybe add "I'm so very sorry" or something?! It's actually possible to convey a heartfelt tone via text, but clearly she is not well versed in this. Just "Neg. Sorry"?! A whole 1.5 words? Really???

I understand that I texted her in the first place, but I chose to do that instead of paging her to provide my full name in writing BEFORE her call back to me; Just thought it might be helpful when she was looking for my results to call me back with. Furthermore, I specifically asked her to CALL ME with the results, because I also had questions regarding using a new medication for our FET (Delestrogen shots) and the immediacy of ordering this since estrogen for FET's starts on CD2, and clearly my period was trying to make an appearance already.

Of course, I called her immediately with my questions and let her know that "I figured I would call rather than play text tag and receive two word responses, especially since this is a somewhat sensitive subject." Is it just me? Am I over reacting? Her "Neg. Sorry" just put a reeeally bad taste in our mouths. Even my husband was annoyed. She apologized for the lack of tact and brevity of her text, but come on. Use your head and think before you text a woman who's spent $25K on fertility treatments this year and still no baby!

Just because I have a medical file 4 inches thick and have been around the block with treatments, it doesn't mean I don't deserve a little compassion when delivering the blow of another negative result. I normally have nothing but good things to say about my fertility clinic, but every once in a while a nurse does something really f'ing stupid, and this warrants a complaint to my RE (who also happens to own the clinic) as far as I'm concerned. He is not going to be happy about it either I have a feeling. This man calls every patient personally after IVF cycle results and will spend a full hour on the phone with you discussing next steps. I'm pretty sure he expects a little more than a "Neg. Sorry" text from his on-call nurse. Ok, I'm done venting now, but it still is kind of shocking to me. Wow, just wow.

Not to worry though, I am ok. There were zero tears. I was probably too pissed off at the nurse to shed a tear, but hey whatever works to get you through the tough times right. We went out to dinner and split a big fat order of chicken fajitas on fluffy white gluten filled soft tortillas. Man, I'd forgotten how good things with flour taste! Ha! I'd also forgotten how yummy the occasional serving of ice cold dairy tastes in the form of Breyer's vanilla bean on top of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies...until today that is!

The past 24 hours have been a fun little hoorah complete with food porn. These cookies are awesome by the way, if you are a fellow GF eater. I'm not going to say they are "healthy" but they have none of the typical unhealthy ingredients like HFCS, hydrogenated oils, etc. and are a better option as far as pre-made cookie dough goes.

Christmas decor is also up, and we are happily enjoying a little holiday cheer...

I actually put this up last week after a sub job which really tested my resolve. I got to listen to a 17 year old brag about her pregnancy and show off sonogram pics for literally ALL of the 1.5 hours I had her in class. Well, outside of the time she spent eating some nitrate filled cold cut Lunchables, a box of Hot Tamale candies, and a rice krispie treat, washing it all down with a Starbucks mocha latte. Nope, I'm not bitter....not bitter at all!

I am working on being non-judgemental towards people who treat their bodies like complete garbage and seem to get knocked up without even trying. It's just really hard when you treat your body like a damn temple 99% of the time in hopes that it could somehow help prepare your body for pregnancy. I certainly wouldn't want to trade places with this very young mother-to-be, but I will never ever be carefree about pregnancy with all we've been through, and that is just a hard pill to swallow. I also couldn't help but think how teenage pregnancy was NOT something to be proud of when I was in school. Oh how times have clearly changed. I think we have MTV's Teen Mom to thank for that.

I took the next day off of work and decorated all day long to force some holiday cheer into our lives. Somehow things are just a little bit better when you come home to Christmas lights. I'm actually enjoying subbing overall and am scheduled for another high school job tomorrow. However, this is an AP class of 10th graders, so I'm fairly certain it will be a pregnancy free day...let's at least hope so.

I assume a new cycle will start tomorrow, which means baseline ultrasound will most likely be Tuesday/Wednesday. I am requesting the use of Delestrogen shots this time around for my lovely yet stubborn lining. I may even request PIO shots in place of Crinone for the progesterone support portion of this FET. I know Crinone is supposed to be equally as effective, but I don't want to keep trying the same things and expect a different result. Obviously, the Estradiol/Crinone combo hasn't worked thus far, and this will be our 4th IVF transfer. Besides, that is how tired I am of putting random meds in my vag. You know you are officially OVER IT when you are actually willing to choose imtramuscular injections via a huge ass needle over putting one more dose of anything inside your lady parts.

So, there you have it folks. We're cleaning out the freezer on this one. Last two embryos and one more shot at this IVF thing.