I'm writing this blog at the wee hour of 2 am, which should give some indication that I'm having a sleepless night. Let's just say the last couple weeks have not been stress free. Exactly two weeks ago, I/we learned that my husband would be "parting ways" with his company of almost 9 years. Well, isn't this a convenient time to be jobless? Yeah, not so much.
For the first time in a really long time, we've found ourselves wondering where our next source of income will come from. Ask me what my least favorite topics of conversation while barely 1/3 of the way through a pregnancy are. Oh, thanks for asking! They are....drumroll please....
1) Claiming Unemployment
2) Obtaining COBRA healthcare coverage
3) Researching Employee Rights & Negotiating Severance Packages
Some real doozies eh? I am really trying to be the good wife, but am beginning to ask myself how supportive and agreeable I can truly be during such a situation... while also trying not to pull every last hair on my head out. There have been some differences of opinion regarding this unexpected situation from all parties involved, and it's only natural that it would be stressful, not only on my hubby, but also on us as a couple and soon to be family.
Needless to say, I've gone into "doing anything and everything I can to help" mode. Part of that has meant back to work for me, substitute teaching every chance I can get. At the rate I'm going, I'm making about 1/10 of what my husband was making, so my subbing obviously won't get us far. However, any little bit helps, and even if it only covers groceries, it's something.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not crying a river over here, and we don't need sympathy. One of the good things about being poor in your youngers years is that you know how to make anything work. We'll make it through, because that's what we've always done, without asking for anyone's help. Hubby is interviewing right and left with, truth be told, more reputable and well-known companies with much better benefits than the employer he's leaving. Did I mention how proud I am of him? On top of it all, he's smack dab in the middle of earning his MBA as well. I happened to marry one of the most driven, and inspiring, and successful people on the planet, and it's only a matter of time before the right offers come his way.
Plus, I know God has something way bigger and better in store for us. I truly believe with my WHOLE ENTIRE HEART that while this unexpected news seems really inconvenient timing wise, it will actually end up being a huge blessing in the long run. Sure, right now it sucks. I don't think anyone breaks ties with an employer of that long without feeling like they've lost that loving feeling. And, if I'm being honest, we're both a bit f'ing scared about the future. However, my willingness to just MOVE ON far outweighs any fear I have about where our next meal comes from.
I tend to believe that in order for a new door to open, the first one has to fully close sometimes. I think it's safe to say I am ready for this door to be closed, even if it means walking away with less than what would make us comfortable. Sometimes, there is simply no pricetag that can make up for time and energy spent on battling with people. And of course, just when I was searching for a message that would help guide us through this trying time, leave it to Joel Osteen to deliver, as always.
My favorite line, "You can be pitiful or you can be powerful, but you cannot be both!" If you feel like something unfair has happened to you; Like it's been hard to move on or that bitterness over a situation is beginning to take over, watch this message "Get Over It." I bet you'll gain a difference perspective. Love, love, LOVE this message.
So enough about that. Thanks to those of you who have emailed asking what part of earth I dropped off of. I've just been busy and exhausted. It means a great deal that you guys care, so THANK YOU for emailing and asking for updates!
In other unexpected news, Texas has the craziest weather I've ever experienced. It's gone from sunny 70's to icy conditions and back and forth more than once over the past couple weeks, in the matter of literally 24 hours. Totally nuts! Take a look at this....
And now for the GOOD NEWS, that will easily trump any and all unexpected news. In the words of our perinatologist, "Baby looks perfect." We had our NT Scan yesterday @ 11w3d. This is where they take measurements to determine certain chromosomal risk factors caused by trisomies, and they can also assess risk for some other things like certain heart conditions. Nuchal fold measurement should be less than 3, and ours was less than 1. This is fantastic! Nasal bone should be fully intact and of certain size, and both u/s tech and MFM commented how all body parts were formed perfectly.
We were given a 0.33% chance (very low) of any chromosomal abnormalities based on this scan alone, meaning that it's about 99.67% that everything is perfectly normal. There is some additional bloodwork that is typically done along with the NT scan, which might further reduce our risk assessment. However, because we had a vanishing twin, this would make the blood result inconclusive, so we're simply not doing it. We're also choosing not to do an amnio, CVS, or any other tests which pose any risk to baby, even if only 1-2% risk of harm.
They viewed the baby from many angles and pointed out two legs, two arms, five fingers on the hand showing, and even individual ribs. He/she is starting to look like a real live human being at this point, so I'll share, even though a pic taken of an u/s pic is not the best quality.
Is it just me, or does that little white spot on the side of the head look like an ear? I think it might be. Lord help me, I'm turning into one of those women who thinks a fuzzy, grainy, black and white pic of their child's body parts is already cute. Baby A is still measuring ahead by one day and heartbeat is strong @167 bpm. This Friday makes 12 weeks. Two more weeks until we officially enter the 2nd trimester.
We're just so incredibly grateful beyond words that we at least have this baby to look forward to right now. All of life's problems just pale in comparison to the prospect of this beautiful healthy child that is on his/her way. A tornado could blow our entire house away today, and I seriously think I'd be fine, as long as this baby is fine and I have my amazing hubby by my side.