BCP's- (code word for Crazy Bitch!)

Just when I thought I was going to escape the dreaded mood swings and side effects of being on birth control pills for the first time in 5 years, I was proven wrong. To re-cap... I am taking BCP's for 21 days as part of the suppression phase of my IVF cycle. I've been taking them in the evening close to bedtime to avert ill side effects as much as possible. These are the ones I'm taking...

I wasn't really having any side effects, except for slight nausea and waking up at 2 AM every night feeling a little queasy. Then, I noticed Friday (after taking them 5 days) that I was becoming really irritable. Everyone in public was annoying the crap out of me!  Maybe it was just a bad day?

Then Saturday, I was happily working out at the gym on the elliptical machine early in the morning, when it's pretty empty in there. Some lady comes and plants herself on the machine DIRECTLY beside me within inches of my breathing room. There are literally about 50 other elliptical machines spread all across the gym she could have chosen, but she felt the need to be RIGHT next to me. I huffed and puffed, got off my machine, got new paper towels with disinfectant, cleaned a whole new machine a few spots down, and resumed my workout. In my head I'm thinking, "Why must you invade my personal space in a 50,000 square foot gym?!"

Then we go to Home Depot and I'm looking for gardening gloves. We can't find them anywhere. I ask the guy at front, "Can you direct me to the gardening gloves please?" He replies, "Gardening gloves....like?" He is obviously having a brain fart. I say, "Yes, gardening gloves. You know, gloves you would wear to garden." He then replies, "So children's gardening gloves?" It's just me and my husband standing there with zero children in sight of course. I look at him like he's got two heads and say, "No gardening gloves for ME, women's size!" He has to radio in to someone to ask. It takes what seemed like 5 minutes for a response, and we finally find them. I wanted to strangle this guy!

As we walk away and I'm mumbling under my breath about, "Do we look like we need children's gardening gloves?!" I can tell my husband is clearly not becoming as annoyed with people in public as I am. These are only a couple examples, but it feels like everywhere I go, I encounter the top 10% of all stupid people on the planet or something. Normally I would roll my eyes at things and just laugh about strange folks, but I am becoming seriously angry at the smallest of things. While I might be rightfully annoyed at the plethora of people who seem to be walking around in a fog, the reaction I'm having to them could probably be curtailed a bit. Ya think? haha!

The gardening gloves incident made me stop and realize that something here is just not within my control. Then a light bulb goes off and it hits me....I bet it's the birth control pills turning me into a crazy beotch! That has to be it! On top of it, my RE has me now also taking 75 mg/day of DHEA during my IVF cycle. DHEA is a precursor to both the male hormone, testosterone, and also estrogen, and had been shown to increase success rates for IVF in patients with DOR (diminished ovarian reserve) like myself. So between pumping estrogen AND testosterone into my body at the same time, I guess it makes sense if I'm a hormonal mess.   I woke up in a more familiar Pollyanna mood this morning, and all I could think of was this song to describe my weekend state of mind...

What a rockin tune, even if I do feel the need to repent after watching the video. ha! Let's just hope my mind and body can assimilate a little better as we get further into the IVF cycle, because if I am already acting crazy from a few hormones now, I can't even imagine what to expect once we add FSH (follicle stimulating hormones), Ovdirel (hCG hormone) and Crinone (progesterone) to the mix. Lord help us all...especially my dear hubby. He is such a champ throughout this process.


I am waiting on my full IVF calender to arrive in the mail, but here are the estimated dates for the major milestones of our IVF thus far...

February 25th- Begin BCP's. Continue for 21 days

March 18th- meeting with IVF nurse (review entire IVF plan and learn to do injectables)
                  - baseline ultrasound (to rule out any ovarian cysts and begin treatment)
                  - sign all papers and pay $$$

March 20th- Begin Lupron injections (daily throughout remainder of cycle)

March 22nd- Begin Gonal F injections & Menopur injections (daily throughout remainder of cycle)

April 3rd- Expected ER (egg retrieval)

April 6th OR April 8th- Expected ET (embryo transfer)

Of course, the ER and ET dates are not set in stone. We won't know how I'll respond to the meds until we actually start doing them. I'll be doing many ultrasounds and blood tests to monitor my response along the way, so this is a ballpark estimation. I'll be doing acupuncture accordingly as the cycle progresses as well. 

It's hard to believe that in about 6 weeks time, we could be expecting the little one we've worked so hard to bring into this world!  Please pray for us:  That I will respond well to treatment. That we will have no roadblocks or surprises along the way. Most of all, that I will somehow maintain my sanity while being pumped full of meds.