Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Booty's Not Going to Like This

Today's RE appointment was 1 part baseline ultrasound & 2 parts complaint fest. I kinda hated to start off this cycle on a negative note, since I'm resolved to keep things all butterflies and unicorns up in my psyche for our last chance FET. However, I honestly felt I needed to bring up the whole "Neg. Sorry" nurse communication thing to my RE.

I am not a timid person, but my RE is just so darn likeable and even keeled that I hate to complain to him personally. Yet, he's the one who owns the place and has the power to change things, so he did get a small earful today. Of course, he was extremely thankful I brought it up along with a couple other things that have bugged us about their level of service as of late. He just kept thanking us, taking the blame, saying they need to do better and how it was unacceptable and they WILL do better.

Seriously, this last FET better work, because that is how badly I want it to work out with Dr. Vaughn as our RE. I want to be able to thank him for his help, to show him baby pics someday, and for us to have the satisfaction that we've been in the best hands possible...which is what I felt in my heart at our first consultation with him. I've got to admit though, that lately as much as I love this man as our doctor, we are losing a tiny sliver of faith in the relationship each time we have a failed IVF transfer. 3 of those can really start to wear on you emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually.

Nevertheless, here we are onto FET #3 (IVF Transfer #4).
The moment is NOW, so that is the moment I'm focusing on...not on what we'll do if this doesn't work. I feel like we've got nothing to lose at this point by putting every single little ounce of faith and mojo and positive thinking into the fact that THIS IS GOING TO WORK!

We are doing things a little differently this time around too...

1) 0.3 mL Delestrogen (IM shots)- to increase lining thickness, instead of oral/vaginal Estrace

2) 1 mg dexamethasone- low dose steroid to calm any inflammation, perhaps lower uterine NK cells (which I tested slightly high for), increase receptivity of the uterus (in theory)

3) 1 mL PEO/Progesterone in Ethyl Oleate- (IM shots)- to maintain lining, instead of Crinone suppositories

4) 40 mg Lovenox (SubQ shots)- to reduce viscosity of blood/increase blood flow, counteracts blood clotting factors (which I test + for). Have used this in the past, but not for full cycles with all IVF transfers.


This is not going to be fun, with 3 shots (2 of those being IM and 1 that feels like liquid fire ants) scheduled on the same day sometimes. However, it would make absolutely no sense to just keep using approaches that haven't worked at this point. I don't want to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result. We have changed it up a little with each previous IVF transfer, but only in dosaging and not really with type of meds as much.

We're going the more painful intramuscular route this time around with hopes that maybe, just maybe, my body might react differently if I am plunging a big ass needle full of the goods straight into my ass cheek with no chance for escape! What did we sign up for though??? Look at this thing!

ALL the way in? Are you sure?

It is even scarier in person, I assure you. And yes, that is the injection needle, not the drawing needle. T minus 1 hour until hubby plunges our first dose of Delestrogen into my gluteus maximus. I am gaining all possible strength from my fellow friends in the infertility community for sure. I know plenty of women who have given themselves these shots IN THEIR OWN ASSES! If they can do it, so can I!

I've posted our FET #3 Calendar with our meds schedule, anticipated transfer date, and test date at the top of the page next to the rest of them. Please keep us in your thoughts as we embark on our final chance at IVF. We need all the good vibes, baby dust, and spare prayers for a miracle that you can muster!

42 comments:

  1. Oh girl, I think I'm going to vomit if I even look at that... I nominate you for mother of the year the moment you get pregnant. You deserve it for sure for dealing with THAT! Hoping that this is it!

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    1. Thank you for saying that. I need ALL the cheerleading I can get. Hubby is traveling the first week of December too....which means I'll be taking the wheel at that point. Yikes!

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  2. You got this :) I am so glad you brought up the neg sorry comment, it needed to be addressed.

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    1. Nurse Pam probably won't be too happy, but oh well! Thanks for the support. :)

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  3. You can totally do it! For this cycle (the 3rd transfer that finally worked) I did estrogen injections every third day and progesterone injections every day. No sesame oil! This combo (plus vaginal estrogen) worked great for my lining! Even though you sometimes have to do two shots a day, I can say it was worth it for me! My lining was so much thicker and I don't have as many hives! And it worked! Hope you have the same results!!

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    1. Yay! I love success stories. That's what I'm talkin about! Congrats Kimberly! How much estrogen did you do vaginally in addition to the estrogen injections? I'm not doing any vaginally this time around, but if my lining isn't good to go at that first lining check, you know I'm going to add something!

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  4. Girl! So glad you talked to them about the text. Glad he listened!!! Just looked at your calendar - Believing Dec 5 and 14 are going to be great days. You are SO strong - I admire you so much!!!! Hugs from Dallas. Keep us updated. Continuing to pray for you!!!

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    1. I love you so much girlie! You have been such a source of support for me, and I am so appreciative of your friendship. Please do keep praying!

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  5. OH MY WORD!! That needle is outrageous! Props to you and props to your hubby for sticking you! When I was doing IVF my hubby couldn't even be in the same room when I did all 5 of my shots. I will never forget the first night I had to inject myself. I was a wreck. I had never used a needle before and needles FREAK him out. I stood in the bathroom for over 30 minutes crying and calling him there to see if he could do it and then crying some more. After it was over with I looked in the mirror and wondered what the big fuss was all about. But I don't think I could EVER stick that in me. YOU GO GIRL!!!! I remember when I had to use the big transfer needles...those were huge but thank goodness I never had to inject myself with it. I will never forget the time my hubby came home and saw the "transfer" needle. He freaked out and immediately started telling me I could buy whatever I wanted and that I was the best wife in the whole world for doing this and blah, blah, blah, blah. I looked at the transfer needle and then back at him...for a split second I contemplated on letting him think I actually injected myself with that ginormous thing but then I didn't have the heart. I confessed and then changed to the smaller needle to inject the meds with. haha! Keep us updated! prayers for you!

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    1. Oh how I wish that wasn't the real needle! I too, remember being freaked out about OVIDREL of all things. Paleez! Child's play now! haha. Then, there was Lovenox, and that first shot mimicked your story of tears and sheer torture. Well, now I've got that one down (although I still hate it). I will just have to suck it up and get over these new FUN shots too I guess.

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  6. I will be thinking about you! Those IM injections are NO joke, the booty definitely does NOT like them. I can't imagine doing them twice a day, I could barely handle one a day at that! Sending TONS of prayers your way, make sure you keep us updated!

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    1. Well, I think it all went in? I iced for 15 minutes and did not feel a thing! Hallelujah! Then hubby says, "Was there anything in there?" I'm like yeah I am 99% sure there was. hahaha! Gotta love doing a new shot. You always second guess yourself on everything. Hoping the PEO are not too much worse!

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  7. That needle is SCARY. I will be hoping and praying that the injections make all the difference, and are therefore worth it all. I'm glad the ice made it feel ok!

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    1. Thanks Farra! Us too. Hoping it makes some sort of difference finally with the outcome of all this IVF craziness!

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  8. Just recently ran across your blog and started following along, I just wanted to take time to say a little prayer for you and send some baby dust your way!! That's one hell of a needle there!! Its crazy the things that we never think that we could do, until we're enticed with the possibility of getting pregnant.

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    1. Howdy Stephanie. Nice to meet you! I'm telling ya...the things we thought we'd never do!

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  9. I'm so glad you mentioned the nurse to your doctor!
    I am hoping this cycle gets you your BFP and your little baby/s. The last one has got to be it!
    Yes that needle is scarier in person! I am grateful to not be having to do those huge shots in my butt, but I am doing my lovenox shots twice a day. It doesn't hurt much anymore if squeeze the skin really hard when putting the needle in and more importantly if I take my time and inject it in super slow.

    When do you start taking the dexamethasone? Is this the first time you have taken it? I'm going to check out your chart now.
    I will be thinking of you! Wishing you the very best! You deserve it! It's time :)

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    1. I see you started it. What does your doctor say about dexamethasone? Does he give it to a lot of his patients?

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    2. I started the dexamethasone about 1/2 way through our IUI cycle (so 2 weeks prior to this FET cycle). I will continue it for the reasons I listed above....to basically "dumb down" any autoimmune responses in the uterus. However, my RE does not believe in the benefits of using steroid for this purpose....says there isn't enough research. He does use it more (as do many other RE's) for it's egg production benefits. Apparently, there is plenty of research showing that adding dexamethasone to stimulation protocols can enhance the ability to produce eggs. He typically only uses it during the fresh IVF cycles for this reason, but he's approved my using it throughout this entire cycle. It really can't hurt to try at this point!

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    3. I agree! It definitely can't hurt to try! Thank you for sharing. The more info we have the better :)

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  10. Omg TWO IM injections?! You go girl!! I will be thinking of you and will have everything crossed that this FET is the one (save the best for last, right?) :) XOXO

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  11. Risa at Who Shot Down My Stork had a link with some great tips for PIO injections. I'm one of those who self administer as my husband is a needle phobe. It's a little tricky on your non-dominant side (I've been alternating) but it's not that bad. I'm hoping that this cocktail does the trick!

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    1. Round of applause for you in that case! I will have to check out her blog, and I will think of you on the days I have to start doing this myself once hubby is traveling!

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  12. *Rocky Theme Song* You are a Champ! Seriously hoping the protocol adjustments do the trick for you. Also seriously hoping you have someone to bring you an ice pack for your buttocks. XO

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    1. Oh, I am so going to play that theme song the day I have to give these to myself!

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  13. Well that delestrogen shot just gave me the willies knowing I've got those coming my way soon. Wowsers. I've got my pom poms out and I'm throwing out some major throw back cheers your way this cycle.

    (good for you for bringing that nurses insensitivity to your doctors attention)

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    1. Don't worry Suzanne! I am in disbelief at how easy it was to take that shot. Of course, I haven't administered it myself YET, but I didn't even feel it! I iced the area for a full 15 min. first, so I guess it did the trick to numb it. Zero bruising today and a teeny tiny bit of soreness. Knowing this now, I would actually choose this over the vaginal Estrace any day. You will do great!

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  14. You can do this! Thoughts and prayers heading your way from SoCal! I had to do the IM Delestrogen shots too! The first one was the only hard one, after that I was used to it. I will continue to pray for you and your hubby throughout this process for you!

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    1. Thanks Lindsey! I got pretty lucky with my arse being so numb from the ice, so just hoping it continues to go well with each additional shot.

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  15. Yikes on that needle!! Keeping you guys in my prayers that making these changes will be just what you need to make this cycle a success :) **hugs**

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    1. Thanks Amie! Time to throw some different darts (literally) at this thing called infertility. Hoping it makes a difference!

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  16. Ouch is my tush aches for yours. The things we battle for these babies. I am so glad that you talked to the doctor that way the tension will be gone and you guys can be focused on this cycle instead of office shortcomings. As always I am praying for you! Expecting good news!

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  17. U are one brave woman giving yourself these shots. I must say I have been contemplating on doing this myself. So J won't have to change his schedule again and alerting ppl we are trying it again.

    I hope the changes to your protocol = a take home baby. I have plenty of lovenox left over if you would like them. I don't think I will be needing them but definitely can get with my nurse and send them ur way if she says I won't use them. Let me know.

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  18. You can do this! Just hold onto the counter/door frame, put your leg into a relaxed position, bent at knee and breathe. It's really not so bad. The needle is super scary but much easier with someone else doing it and you not looking and thinking positive thoughts! The week that he's away it might be worth it to try to find a friend/relative to give the shots to you... i alternated bt my mom and a nurse just so i wouldn't have to stress myself out by trying to do it myself. Though there are some women out there that do it. Good luck! I had the IM delestrogen and PIO and they made my lining nice and thick (though still BFN). Our next cycle we'll be adding the steroid and lovenox to the mix too.

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  19. OMG!! I hate seeing those intramuscular needles. Hoping these injections are miraculously painless!

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  20. OH MY GOODNESS! That needle makes my booty hurt! really? all the way in? OH boy! praying this is it for you. Come on frosties!

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  21. Thinking of you friend. I did the delestrogen/PIO duo protocol, and honestly, I preferred it. Yes, the needles are both huge and super scary.... but, I preferred over the messy lady parts and such :) I would keep up with the icing prior to injection, and add in a heating pad afterwards once your booty starts to get sore. The few times I couldn't ice/heat, I ended up with bruised welts.

    I'm rooting for you girl. Keep those spirits high, like you always do :)

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  22. Make sure you rub your toosh after the shots, otherwise you'll have a "lumpy" rear! After doing them quite a few times, I consider myself quite the trooper after this last cycle over the summer.

    Thinking of you always!!! xo

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  23. Holy Moly sister that needle is all buisiness! Praying that it went quickly and painlessly as possible!

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  24. I find comfort in doing things differently after failed cycles. Why do the same thing? Lord knows you're tough enough to handle those needles, girl! This is your cycle! I'm so encouraged for you ... especially since your girlie parts got a nice cleaning out a couple of months ago. xoxo

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  25. Lots and lots of prayers for this last FET!! C'mon BFP in time for Christmas!!! *hugs*

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