Saturday, November 23, 2013

Warm Tootsies

Have you ever in your life seen tootsies as warm and cozy and relaxed as these??



I've want to send a big THANK YOU to one my dearest blog buddies Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples. Despite all she has going on with out-of-town fertility treatments, working full time, and organizing fun events to bring joy to others (like mug swaps throughout the blogosphere), she still took time to send me these super fun and very LUCKY socks to wear. Breaking these out today was MUCH needed, because they totally saved my mood.

Here is where I get honest. There were a few tears this morning. I have been doing really well staying positive and hopeful and at peace. More quiet time each day with myself and with God is helping, and I am generally in a really good place. It was just one of those times where true feelings can strike at a moment's notice. 

This morning at the gym, I was situated on a machine next to a woman who I knew had just given birth and was in there "working off the baby weight." I've tried to avoid being around this chick, because it just hurts to watch everyone around me have babies when I still haven't. I don't even know this woman, but we have a mutual friend who felt the need to tell me how she got pregnant with #2 not even trying...out having a good time on NYE last year with the hubby and BAM it happened. Not sure why I needed to know this detail, but my friend felt the need to tell me for some reason?

Of course we tend to work out at the same time, so I got to watch her baby bump grow for months, as she continued working out like a crazy exercise feign doing push-ups, squats, long intense sessions on the stairmill, the works. As if Kerri Walsh winning the gold medal in volleyball while 5 weeks pregnant weren't enough. Now I get to watch this pregnant chick go nuts in the gym every day and come rub her belly near me as she stretches.

Clearly intense exercise doesn't affect all people in the same way in regards to fertility. Nope, I'm the lucky one who becomes anovulatory and loses her period for 3 years straight from being "too athletic." Alrighty then, I'll just be over here doing the elliptical (a.k.a. workout for wusses) since I'm "not allowed" to work out intensely and am treating my body as if I am already pregnant. No, I'm not bitter about this at all. Can you tell?

I was trying not to let this stranger's return to my workout space bother me, and I tried my best to just look the other way, but it's like there was an elephant in the room or sorts...but just inside my own brain of course. When hubby asked me on the drive home how I was, I divulged how it just hurts to watch everyone go through each trimester and then post-pregnancy. We were actively trying long before this woman accidentally got blessed with a child, and here I am STILL TRYING as her baby is all cozied up safely with the rest of her family at home. It just sucks feeling like everyone else gets to experience milestones of life while you are just plain STUCK in the same place.

Sorry for such a long tangent, but just to bring it back...My point was supposed to be that I am thankful to know I'm not completely alone and that there are women out there who do get it, even if we are all separated by thousands of miles. I truly do not know how women survived pre-internet.  Lord knows I have zero friends in real life who have been through this, and it gets lonely...like tumbleweeds blowing by lonely.

To have a friend whom I've never met in person, who would take the time to send me something as simple as a pair of lucky socks along with a super sweet card means SO MUCH to me. I will also say, that if you've never put on a pair of bright striped socks that go all the way up to your knees, you must try it! It's an instant mood lifter! I had no clue how much fun these would be! So, thank you my dear Jessah for making me smile on a morning where it's been really easy not to. Thank you for thinking of little ole me. :)

And since we're on the subject of warm tootsies, I have got to share my other new favorite toy with you. I saw this Luxury Foot Warmer in a catalog and knew I had to order it. I am very cold natured and always trying to keep my feet warm, so this is absolutely perfect! There are a few different ways I've been using it.

I call this "Pigs in a Blanket"...




This is the absolute best position though. The "Tootsie Roll"...


If you have cold feet constantly like me, I highly recommend ordering one of these. Seriously the BEST purchase I've made in a while. As you may know, Chinese medicine correlates being cold natured with kidney yang deficiency, and there is a lot of importance placed on having warm feet while trying to conceive. Having warm feet increases blood flow to meridians connected to the pelvic organs. That is why TCM practitioner's are so adamant about patients wearing socks and slippers during conception cycles, and especially throughout IVF.

I need all the help I can get with blood flow and my lining, so I'm using this puppy every day. It's much more efficient than warm foot soaks if you ask me, because it heats up super fast, you can leave it on longer, and it doesn't leave your feet wet and cold afterwards. Plus, it's so small and lightweight you can tote it around and use it in any room of the house. Love this little gadget!

It's coming in handy this weekend as we welcome cold and rainy temps in the 30's here in Austin. Hubby and I are aiming to break an all time record for snuggling...in between him studying for his MBA of course. Yesterday we went to see the new Hunger Games movie right smack in the middle of the day and had a lunch date at a favorite Mexican spot. Tonight, we have plans to see Whitney Cummings stand-up live with two other couples and do dinner at another favorite spot downtown. All in all, these are all reminders that life is good.

I'm sure there will moments tonight where I'm reminded yet again that we aren't parents, since the couples we are going with all have beautiful young children. I can pretty much guarantee this will be a main topic of discussion. I'm just preparing myself ahead of time to sit close to hubby and hold him a little tighter if/when those conversations take over. I can't just hide my entire life from people with kids to protect my own heart, so I'll try my best to be happy for them and let their stories be a reminder of what we have to look forward to...hopefully some day very soon.

20 comments:

  1. Jessah is the sweetest! Love those socks and I'm glad they brought a smile to your pretty face :). Also I need one of those foot warmers!!!

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  2. That is the sweetest thing ever!! Im a huge fan of colorful knee high socks!! they really do just make you feel all fun and cheerful. Also that foot warmer and all of the info about keeping feet warm was very interesting. My feet are always freezing :/
    Must look into this and that foot warmer! Wishing you the best of luck!

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  3. Oh my gosh, I need one of those foot warmers. And now I can use the Chinese medicine thing to justify it as a fertility necessity! ;) Best of luck to you and enjoy your night with your friends.

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  4. Eeek! I need one of those footwarmers. My feet are always freezing. Also, I get the whole breaking down part seeing women go through pregnancy after pregnancy when were here in the side lines just waiting for our miracle. Chin up, Jessah seems to always cheer up someone when they are down. She truly has a big heart.

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  5. Jessah is too sweet. I will most definitely be purchasing the tootsie roll!! I'm so glad that you have a fun weekend ahead (despite this frigid weather, brrrr). I think those thoughts you were having toward the goal is the devil feeding you lies and trying to make you jealous and fearful!!! Stand firm in what the Lord promises in His word!!! Love you girly xoxo

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  6. In the BIble Hannah was always "provoked" when she saw Penniah (her husbands other wife who kept having TONS of children) and anytime I see a pregnant woman or someone who just had a baby and I get upset, I always tell my husband I "got Penniahed" today...hehe. I think sometimes the devil places those people in our paths to make us angry, bitter, jealous or whatever. It's so hard not to be. On another note, my feet were actually cold while reading your blog despite the heater I have blowing directly on them but I noticed I wasn't wearing any socks. I'm going to be putting on socks now :) hehe

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  7. I had a similar response when I learned that one of my swim teammates was pregnant. She had competed in our recent meet and an open water swim while pregnant, and I couldn't help thinking, that was supposed to be me! Still exercising and swimming while pregnant. It sucks to acknowledge that I'll proabably have more restrictions during a pregnancy and like everything else, it's not going to be the way I imagined (planned it). I love the socks from Jessah, I too wonder what infertile women did before the internet?

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  8. Those socks are just precious and so is sweet Jessah :) My feet are constantly cold too so ill have to check this out. I hear ya on pregnant folks every where. Tuesday after our Dr appt that let us know we were miscarrying we went out to eat and the only other couple in the restuarant were pregnant. ..it's tough girl.

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  9. Oh I LOVE the sock exchange idea! I'm the same as you--can't stand cold feet--but I do not have a badass foot warmer (unless you count sticking them under my hubby, lol). I'm totally envious about your date nights these past couple days! I'm sick so we haven't seen Hunger Games yet & I'm dying to go! I hear ya--it's hard to watch other people never skipping a beat in their lives (particularly with easy pregnancies) while our lives feel "paused" in anticipation and longing. But I believe in those lucky striped socks, truly I do! XO

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  10. So sweet of Jessah! Lots and lots of prayers girl!

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  11. So so sweet! I love those socks they are beautiful and look so warm!! And that foot warmer... I need to hunt down one of my own!

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  12. I'm so glad that my little package helped to lift your spirits on a day you were low. I had a few tears myself yesterday and those days are very hard. The socks look so cute on you. I definitely need one of those foot warmers. Hang in there tonight! I know how hard it can be. Hugs.

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  13. The socks are adorable! That was super sweet of Jessah! And the foot warmer looks awesome! Thanks for sharing about warm feet… I'd heard about it for transfer day, but now throughout IVF…. I'll be packing lots of socks! Thinking of you! Hugs!!!

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  14. Adorable socks. Love them!! The foot warmer thing looks great. I'm going to look into that for sure. I'm always cold!

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  15. Emily, it's hard to be optimistic and hopeful 100% of the time after so much disappointment. You have such a great attitude, though! I'll be praying for you. Lovely socks, and what a neat foot warmer!

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  16. Love the socks! And your new foot warmer sounds like the best invention EVER. I just may need to invest... Praying for you!

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  17. Love the socks! I've had a rough couple of days trying to mentally prepare myself for our first trip to the Fertility clinic in a week. This post has inspired me to purchase some fun and colorful socks! Maybe that will cheer me up?

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  18. Oh wow I know this all to well. I have a few in my family that I had to watch throw abortions and all. Now they have children. It sucked watching them go through it all but it reminded me that I needed to get those feelings out. I was being provoked by the devil. I still feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear accidental pregnancy news but God is really helping me to get through it. Love the socks btw!!

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  19. That's weird your friend had to tell you all the details of this accidental pregnancy. I hope your date with the other couples went well and they didn't talk about their kids too much. I am going to have to start keeping my feet warmer (they are warming up as I read your post).
    You are not alone, although I know if often feels that way when we are going through this. I am so grateful for you. You are so strong, always positive, and such an example to me. I often feel like we are going through this together since we have had such similar timings in our cycles... I hope this FET works for you! You deserve it! Wishing you the very very best!

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  20. I'm raising my hand for an ultrasound and blood draw on Turkey Day! That was so funny!!! I'm praying this FET is the one. You deserve to be the one sharing stories about your children this time next year at dinner with friends. :)

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